slow on the uptake
i’m not sure how it took me 8 seasons to discover project runway, but i’m glad i did.
to be fair, i don’t watch that much TV. we do not have a TV in our apartment, and so the shows that i follow i watch on my laptop (preferably in bed underneath fluffy blankets). this works for me: i still get to enjoy the shows i like, but i have to deliberately decide to do so, which prevents mindless channel-surfing.
if only the same could be said for my use of the internet . . .
(but we’ll save that for another post. actually, i already wrote something about internet overload in this post, which i declare, “if blog entries were cookies, i’d be morbidly obese by this point.” heh.)
ANYWAY! i ended up cancelling a dinner date last night (sorry a – i just would rather to hang out with you when i can give you the full attention you deserve!) — and then decided to hit the gym for a run. of course, my pager, phone, and notebook had to accompany me to the gym — but better an interrupted run than no run, right?
little did i know how entertaining this crew would be!
usually i read magazines in the treadmill, but an iPod issue (fixed now) was going on, so i just brought my headphones and plugged them into the TV instead. i started playing mental games with myself: i would do rotating 5 minute intervals at different speeds (9:13, 8:35, 8:00/mi) and even if the pager went off, i would be allowed to finish that interval.
something about having that tiny amount of ‘control’ helped psychologically, and it ended up being a great (7-miles-and-change!) workout. extra super-awesome bonus: the pager didn’t go off at all. go figure.
and then, i didn’t want to stop — because i wanted to see who would win plus, the concept of making a dress from completely non-traditional materials was so interesting. listening to gretchen jones makes me want to gag (project runway‘s version of ANTM‘s melrose!), but i do think she has talent:
reason #203822 to love the internet, i suppose.
i loved receiving the following comment from rheumatologist blogger julie yesterday:
This isn’t really pager drama but something I know you’ll appreciate: So, this afternoon I made a special trip to the hospital for a consult and once there discovered a pt on my list who they consulted me on yesterday but it never got called to me. Turns out its a super complex consult. Well, normally this would have thrown me into a fit. What do I do now? I didn’t plan on this! Easily 90 minutes of unexpected work tacked on to the end of the day. Well, thanks to you and Ms. Rubin I stopped, regrouped, realized that it wasn’t that big a deal and wasn’t keeping me from anything super important and this person really needed my help. And it all turned out well. So thanks to you for your zen reminders!!
my first confession is that despite my zen intentions, i’m often NOT all that zen (particularly later in the day . . . especially if it’s been a rough one). but i do feel that my intentions are good, and hope that someday i may get there!
my second confession is that i sometimes use the fact that i have/write this blog to inspire MYSELF! okay, that doesn’t sound right — i don’t mean that i find my own writing inspiring; that would be narcissistic and slightly ridiculous. it’s that sometimes i think about who i am projecting myself to be, and whether i am living up to that standard, and it makes me strive to reach it. for example, i have to assume there may be a few local (closeted) readers of this site — if one of them happens to call me with a consult, i want to behave as the patient, mindful person that i aim to be. if i bite their face off because it’s 4 pm and i’m tiiiiiiired, then damn — i’d feel like a total fake and/or hypocrite.
this comment from steph also struck me:
I’m an OR nurse who does night and 24 hour weekend call and I cringe and swear eveytime my phone rings because I know it means I have to come into work. Even though I love my job and know that the surgeries we’re doing are emergencies I always feel resentful, especially when it is 3am and I was sleeping. I know I shouldn’t feel this way because this is my job and I picked it knowing about call but I’m not sure I will ever stop feeling this way.
steph, i know 100% EXACTLY what you mean. but i hope to someday feel differently!