getting it out

December 17, 2010

day 4: get rid of one thing
for those of you catching up, i am going through the apartment therapy home cure, a 20-day adventure focused on creating a “beautiful, organized, and healthy” home.

so far, it’s been fun!

yesterday’s challenge was to give away one thing. the program’s host left an old iPod on a ledge outside his apartment with a note that said, “use me!”. i thought that was a bit odd (wouldn’t it be better to give it to a deserving kid or a charity?), but — to each their own.

i think the point of this exercise is that once you let go of one thing, opportunities to cleanse just pop up out of nowhere! i already had it as one of my priorities for the month, but now i am even more excited to go through my closet and weed out the unworn/unused.

last night, though, we just started small.

josh parted with a pile of old t-shirts . . .

they served their purpose, but it’s time to move on
and i headed to the kitchen, where i tend to hoard things. prior to the cure, josh asked if i really wanted this old (once coveted) amazing grass smoothie shaker (freebie from HLS ’09!).

last weekend, i balked at the idea. yesterday, i realized he was right. i like the IDEA of smoothies, but if i don’t drink them at this point, that is probably not going to change. some old mugs went into the outbox as well.

in addition to kitchen supplies, my other cache of unused items is made up of — you guessed it — stationery! for example, these notebooks are really cute on the outside, but blank inside, and i need (NEED) lines (or graph paper!). you can’t see them, but there are also 2 black soft-cover moleskine cahiers in this pile (one with pages ripped out of it, the other virgin).

so who should i give these to? yeah, i’m asking you all. something tells me that someone out there reading this has a use for a to-go smoothie mug or several cute notebooks. no fancy giveaway; just send me an email if you are interested (along with which item: either the smoothie cup or stack ‘o’ notebooks) and i’ll send it out! U.S. shipping destinations only, please.

update: that was fast — both items have been claimed! enjoy, l and n!

running update / coming clean

nope, not happening yet.
i still haven’t received an answer from my repro/endo specialist about my running question. since it’s been a week, i may try calling (i had sent an email to one of the fellows, who passed it up the chain to her).

i’ve also started doing a little research on my own, even though i was actually trying NOT to be my own MD in this situation. as much as i wish it weren’t true, it looks like there is at least some evidence that exercise may have a negative impact on ovulation. duke does not have access to this journal, so i can’t vouch for exactly how much exercise it takes, but this older article showed a striking difference in ovulation rates in women who were sedentary compared to women who ran an average of 32km/week (that’s under 20 mpw — not exactly what i would consider hard-core).

this honestly breaks my heart a little. i haven’t discussed it outright, but to clarify to some of you who are wondering why i am getting so worked up after a few months of trying — it hasn’t been just a few months. i had amenorrhea for about 18 months after stopping OCPs in february of ’09, and finally began medications (provera + clomiphene) to start trying in a less futile way this fall. initially, these treatments seemed to work, but the last two cycles have failed to stimulate my ovaries the way they were supposed to, even at higher doses.

i am pretty disappointed in my own body at this point. i truly do not believe it’s a body fat or energy balance issue, and in fact have gained a few pounds since starting to try FOR REAL (which i can’t say i love, but am dealing with). i don’t feel like i train to any level of excess — but maybe for me, running + ovulation just don’t go hand in hand.

i still haven’t decided exactly what i should do in terms of changing my typical workout habits. i suppose i shouldn’t be so emotional about it: i can always run LATER, after i have a baby (or 2). and starting a family IS more important to me than my piddly ‘running career.’ i mean, come on. plus — and this should be obvious to me every day, considering my job — i could be dealing with much, much worse than sleepy ovaries.

but it still feels unfair, especially as i hear about EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD getting pregnant after a few months of trying, running or not.

okay, now it’s all out there.


  • Reply lee March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I don&#39t really have any helpful advice, but I just wanted to say that I&#39m sorry that you are going through this. I think you should try not running as much and see if it works. I mean, you are right, you can always run after the baby.

  • Reply Michelle @ Chasing Ambulances March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Your story kind of reminds me of this one: (she had "lean pcos").

    Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you get more answers soon! *hugs*

  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm


    Do what you need to do. And thanks for sharing this…I&#39m sure it&#39s not the most pleasant thing to write about, but it sounds like many people can relate. I hope you get some answers soon.

  • Reply Susannah March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Sarah, I know I shared this before, but I truly believe, from my non-medical-degree perspective, that although there are TONS of women (Paula Radcliffe!) who can manage to get their periods and get pregnant while running, there are also many who, for whatever COMPLETELY UNFAIR reasons, cannot. After 14 months of no period, I was diagnosed with PCOS on the basis of my labs. I now know that I did not have PCOS, I just have a body that is too sensitive to running and being lower than a certain weight to get a period. I cut running back to less than 10 miles a week and gained a few pounds and suddenly I was pregnant. I again experienced amenorrhea after my son was born, and a few months ago stopped running and gained 4 pounds. Last Friday I got my period for the first time in 15 months. I&#39m not saying you don&#39t have PCOS, I would trust your doctor, just saying to you and anyone else reading that despite the fact that there&#39s no reason that a non-elite runner who is within a normal weight range shouldn&#39t be menstruating and ovulating, it is worth a shot to see what no running a few extra pounds can do. I am sorry you are going through this, and thank you for sharing it on your blog. I think you will help/support more people than you realize!

  • Reply SharonfromDC March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Sarah, I&#39m so sorry that you&#39re having to deal with all this. I think that when you look back on this in a couple of years–when you&#39re busy juggling being a mom, working, and back to running–giving up running will seem like such a small price to pay. I&#39m just so sorry that things have been frustrating so far. It will get better!

  • Reply Erin March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I just wanted to say keep your chin up! Everything will work out soon, I&#39m sure. And hey, you&#39re getting real acquainted with your body in the process. Fun! (Right? :)).

  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    i don&#39t have any experience with this, but i think i can understand (to a certain point, since im not in the situation) why you&#39re frustrated/upset. i have no advice, but i do like how you realize that your running career can be stopped for a little while and picked back up. maybe this is the wrong thing to say, but have you ever considered adoption? maybe adopt one kid and in a little while try again? not sure you ever saw the show "tell me you love me", which was on for 1 season 3ish yrs ago, but, i think as hard as it must be (and easier said than done), don&#39t let this ruin YOU, ya know?

  • Reply Lu March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    TTC is a long journey. Each of us takes a different step each day. Running will always be there.

  • Reply MS March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Thank you for posting this. My hubs and I have been TTCing for two years now, and will start IUI in the next month or two. The details of my story are different from yours, but the emotions and results (or lack thereof) are similar. I felt betrayed by my body for about a year and a half of the two years we&#39ve been trying, and I&#39ve only recently re-learned to love and appreciate my body regardless of whether it can conceive. Best of luck, much love, and many hugs to you.

  • Reply Jessica @ JJsVinBlanc March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I know it&#39s so hard not too, but try not to get discouraged. Eaach step you take is one in the right direction, even though it might not seem like it now. Keep doing what is right for you, what you feel in your soul. I have been where you are before and I&#39m pulling for you!!

  • Reply Siobhan Brady March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    i love all these comments, they are all so honest, as was your sharing of your story. i know that somehow things will work out, and it is okay to slow down on running (hey maybe even 10 miles a week would be ok?).. hang in there, and have faith that something will eventually work out.. BIG hugs from Cali… xoxo S

  • Reply Heather March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    Thanks for sharing your TTC story! I never got my period after stopping BCP in Nov. 09. This corresponded with training for the Tobacco Road Half Marathon…whatever. I&#39m on my 4th round of femara and will see what happened with it next week…but we&#39re planning on starting at Carolina Conceptions in January. GOOD LUCK TO YOU! I know the disappointment and frustration…

  • Reply RunningOnCoffee March 10, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I&#39ve been thinking I need a good smoothie to-go cup! I have a giant plastic cup that I bring in my car that fits snugly in the cup holder, but my car-obsessed husband hates that I do it, afraid that I&#39ll spill. I need to declutter big time, but I feel like with Christmas shopping and wrapping, and preparing to go see family over Christmas I haven&#39t had time to spend on any extra cleaning. Sorry to hear about your difficulty TTC, I hope things work out for you and husband soon!

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