getting it out

day 4: get rid of one thing
for those of you catching up, i am going through the apartment therapy home cure, a 20-day adventure focused on creating a “beautiful, organized, and healthy” home.

so far, it’s been fun!

yesterday’s challenge was to give away one thing. the program’s host left an old iPod on a ledge outside his apartment with a note that said, “use me!”. i thought that was a bit odd (wouldn’t it be better to give it to a deserving kid or a charity?), but — to each their own.

i think the point of this exercise is that once you let go of one thing, opportunities to cleanse just pop up out of nowhere! i already had it as one of my priorities for the month, but now i am even more excited to go through my closet and weed out the unworn/unused.

last night, though, we just started small.

josh parted with a pile of old t-shirts . . .

they served their purpose, but it’s time to move on
and i headed to the kitchen, where i tend to hoard things. prior to the cure, josh asked if i really wanted this old (once coveted) amazing grass smoothie shaker (freebie from HLS ’09!).

last weekend, i balked at the idea. yesterday, i realized he was right. i like the IDEA of smoothies, but if i don’t drink them at this point, that is probably not going to change. some old mugs went into the outbox as well.

in addition to kitchen supplies, my other cache of unused items is made up of — you guessed it — stationery! for example, these notebooks are really cute on the outside, but blank inside, and i need (NEED) lines (or graph paper!). you can’t see them, but there are also 2 black soft-cover moleskine cahiers in this pile (one with pages ripped out of it, the other virgin).

so who should i give these to? yeah, i’m asking you all. something tells me that someone out there reading this has a use for a to-go smoothie mug or several cute notebooks. no fancy giveaway; just send me an email if you are interested (along with which item: either the smoothie cup or stack ‘o’ notebooks) and i’ll send it out! U.S. shipping destinations only, please.

update: that was fast — both items have been claimed! enjoy, l and n!

running update / coming clean

nope, not happening yet.
i still haven’t received an answer from my repro/endo specialist about my running question. since it’s been a week, i may try calling (i had sent an email to one of the fellows, who passed it up the chain to her).

i’ve also started doing a little research on my own, even though i was actually trying NOT to be my own MD in this situation. as much as i wish it weren’t true, it looks like there is at least some evidence that exercise may have a negative impact on ovulation. duke does not have access to this journal, so i can’t vouch for exactly how much exercise it takes, but this older article showed a striking difference in ovulation rates in women who were sedentary compared to women who ran an average of 32km/week (that’s under 20 mpw — not exactly what i would consider hard-core).

this honestly breaks my heart a little. i haven’t discussed it outright, but to clarify to some of you who are wondering why i am getting so worked up after a few months of trying — it hasn’t been just a few months. i had amenorrhea for about 18 months after stopping OCPs in february of ’09, and finally began medications (provera + clomiphene) to start trying in a less futile way this fall. initially, these treatments seemed to work, but the last two cycles have failed to stimulate my ovaries the way they were supposed to, even at higher doses.

i am pretty disappointed in my own body at this point. i truly do not believe it’s a body fat or energy balance issue, and in fact have gained a few pounds since starting to try FOR REAL (which i can’t say i love, but am dealing with). i don’t feel like i train to any level of excess — but maybe for me, running + ovulation just don’t go hand in hand.

i still haven’t decided exactly what i should do in terms of changing my typical workout habits. i suppose i shouldn’t be so emotional about it: i can always run LATER, after i have a baby (or 2). and starting a family IS more important to me than my piddly ‘running career.’ i mean, come on. plus — and this should be obvious to me every day, considering my job — i could be dealing with much, much worse than sleepy ovaries.

but it still feels unfair, especially as i hear about EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD getting pregnant after a few months of trying, running or not.

okay, now it’s all out there.