20/20

i had an incredibly easy day today which i followed up with a 2 hour nap on the couch. i think the last 7 weeks of q4 call are just catching up with me. fortunately, relief is on the horizon! after next week, i will only have one more month of overnight call as an intern. and that is extremely good news.

in light of that last forward-gazing paragraph, i will admit that with the tiredness i’m finding it hard to stay (excuse the trendy new-age language) present in the moment. life is feeling more like a race or quest to survive until ‘day off’ or ‘vacation in x days!’ and that makes me sad. really, it’s just no way to live, and yet it happen so naturally when life’s limits are pushed. other than being aware of it and trying to not think that way, i’m not sure what i can do to stop it. it reminds me of when i was in school — predictably, every september i would be all excited about pretty much anything and would truly get up looking forward to each day. but by march, i just wanted things to be over and even getting up to my alarm clock was a struggle.

human nature, or my nature, i guess, but why does march have to be so much less enjoyable than september? really, the same stuff is going on.

anyway, enough of this. time for more sleep.

PS: our program matched 17 new interns for next year! it was pretty exciting to see the pictures, but it will be even more exciting to see their shining eager faces at the end of june. hooray!