a little low

June 8, 2011

approaching a meltdown
so, hi. i have always been honest with you all, and i am having a very hard time crafting a retreat post this morning when i feel like i SO do not have my life together — at all.

to be fair [to myself!], it hasn’t been the smoothest or easiest two weeks . . .

✔ we moved. and don’t think for a moment that we are completely moved in — there are still boxes of things to be stored, i have no desk, and we are currently couchless.

the only corner of the apartment that is currently somewhat functional
✔ my VW . . . passed away [to put it in the nicest way possible]. i feel guilty about the accident [though thankfully no one was hurt!] and admittedly a little uneasy about making the biggest purchase we’ve ever made together.

✔ i got the grant [for work]. which is great news, but news that comes with a whole new list of things-to-do that i hadn’t anticipated. and, to be honest, i also have occasional pangs about not really deserving it.

✔ NOT having a quiet weekend to settle into our new place. so glad i visited family over the weekend, but i could really use a plain ol’ boring weekend at home.

✔ my ovaries are continuing to be uncoopertive. i’m just so tired of the whole thing. josh thinks i should give up the few miles that i do still run [~10/week]; my reproductive endocrinologist specifically told me she would NOT recommend that i stop running completely.

so in summary, i feel:

completely overwhelmed at work
disorganized/scattered/somewhat anxious in general
a combination of anger and disappointment towards my own body
unable to really see a light at the end of the tunnel at this moment.

summer retreat: i need a rest day!
and i’m hoping that maybe that is the case for some of you as well. in the interim, check out a few of the lovely bloggers who have embarked on part [of all] of their own retreat:

chelsea [a full day’s recap!]

sarah learns

♥ med student kari

♥ city life eats valerie

[anyone else with retreat-related posts, feel free to let me know . . .]



well, one year ago today, i ran 4 miles, did yoga, went to work, made muffins, and crafted a fantastic summer dinner composed of local/grass-fed/organic mini-burgers.

yesterday, i did no real workout [other than a 30 minute walk around the lake at work], failed to cook dinner, and did exactly one load of laundry before retreating to my bed in a sulk for the rest of the night.

so, yeah.

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