on ‘the agenda’
i made oatmeal for annabel this morning. it’s currently cooling on the counter, and i just sat down to write this post, hoping that she’ll sleep until at least 6 — maybe 6:30 [dare to dream!]. but no one here has recovered from the time change — including me. i’ve been going to bed by 9 most nights, feeling lucky that i have pregnancy as an excuse, and waking up fairly rested at 5. annabel’s bedtime has moved up an hour or more [last night, she was down at 7:30 or so], but the morning wakeups seem to come earlier. and i have to admit i am finding it frustrating, at least at times.
see, that early morning hour, from 5-6, was mine. sometimes i used it to run, or more rarely do a morning yoga session. other times — like today — i just wanted to prepare breakfast without the usual impatient observer [“mama . . . bek-fast? yoyo? pancake? p’ buttr?”] and write this post. by myself.
but — as is usually the case — annabel likes mornings, too. in fact, i’ve already heard her — twice — starting at 5:45 am. she’s not upset yet [just intermittently talking a little], but she will be soon and thus this post will be short.
i find myself getting annoyed when things are not fitting my preconceived agenda. currently, TIME is my scarcest resource [and about to become SO much more scarce], and perhaps that is why i put so much thought into it. there was a recent short happiness project post about doing what you value that struck a chord with me, but then i was left wondering exactly what the ‘right’ thing to value actually is. and in fact, i find that sometimes spending so much energy thinking about what’s ‘right’ can be paralyzing! if my early forays into parenthood have taught me nothing else, it’s that many of my plans and rituals and goals are arbitrary: they don’t matter, and i don’t ‘lose out’ if something has to change.
so, i’m going to toss my expectations into the ocean, get my early morning annabel, and move on with what has every reason to be a good day. happy monday.