looking up

thanks for your support on
wednesday.  this past week was rough – i suspect a combo of recovering
from being on call (that whole ‘go to work 12 days in a row’ thing has
never really been my favorite) and just plain ol’ pregnancy fatigue. 
after a week of 0 workouts, more sleep, and catching up at work, life
feels more manageable again.

(of course i’m on call
again tuesday and the cycle will begin again!  but getting lots over
with now will DEFINITELY pay off when i am a pumping mother of 2.  i am confident of this.)

i have decided that certain little things in life are in need of tweaking — and that’s aside from the HP goals.

based on what was clearly NOT working for me earlier in the week, i came to some sweeping conclusions:

1)
some of my resolutions were too vague and therefore too HARD.  i felt
like i was failing all of the time for not meeting 100% of the more
nebulous ones.  therefore, i will clarify and make things a little more
concrete (to be expanded upon on monday).

2) some of
the routines that were working for me previously are simply NOT working
for me right now.  annabel is in an earlier-rising phase and seems to be
very sensitive to sound in the AM (maybe she lies there in the wee
hours listening for any sign of action?) — and thus morning workouts
would not have been a viable option even if i DID have more energy this
week. it may seem like a small thing, but exercise is definitely a
foundation habit for me, and when i’m not doing it i have trouble with
the rest of life. 

and so — a trial of evening workouts it
is.*  furthermore, perhaps i need to take my tiredness seriously and
actually take it easier when i’m feeling lower on energy (and this
pregnant).  this doesn’t have to mean doing nothing, and in fact i do
not think that is the answer.  but maybe some walks instead of runs are in order, and some other more low-key routines.  

3)
i am actively working on my parenting approach.  from your comments
(thank you e!) i realized that i am saying “no” too much.  i haven’t
started any of the books you all recommended yet (thank you!) but even
just two strategies:

— trying NOT to say no, but instead redirect/reinforce positive alternatives

— acting as unruffled and chill as possilbe

. . . have already helped so far.  looking forward to putting these techniques more into practice this weekend!

4)
I am actually considering using proper grammar on this blog — like
actual capital letters and things!  Although writing with lowercase
feels like such a habit that i — no, I — do find it to be a bit
of a struggle.  Don’t worry, I don’t do my charting at work with
lowercase and [grammatically incorrect] brackets.

HAPPY WEEKEND!  we have a lot planned, and i’m looking forward to it.  more later!

*
this worked much better when annabel was an infant, too — so i suspect
it will be a better fit with 2 as well.  and someday in the far-off
future maybe i will return to morning sessions.  i’m starting to realize
how transient each ‘routine’ really is with children, anyway.

and because i can never help myself . . .