As my maternity leave is coming to close (I’m back to work next Friday, May 2nd), I am realizing how incredibly great it has been. Having the opportunity to be with my children yet NOT be in charge of most of the household tasks (cooking, cleaning, etc) has been amazing — not to mention the fact that I could take breaks at will when needed during the day (like right now). I am completely aware of how lucky I am to have enjoyed this time.
I have written a lot about things I want to improve/change, but I do not want to give off the impression that I am not happy. To the contrary: I am. Taken as a whole, I love my life. I am incredibly thankful for my marriage, my job, my family, and my two healthy beautiful children. The fact that I have . . . things that I want to work on does not and should not detract from that simple truth.
In fact, the more I think about it, the things that I do want to change are more about waking up to enjoy exactly what I have right now. Getting my head out of the clouds (or iCloud, as the case may be . . . ), feeling energetic and healthy, connecting with others — these are all things that I want in order to make sure I am not wasting the precious gifts that are already THERE all around me. But I realize that sometimes I need to stop thinking about making things ‘better’ and take a good, long look around to see what is already there.
I haven’t gotten dressed today, but I have smiled, hugged, kissed, nourished, and loved. I’ve learned what it is to take care of 2 children at once, and I’ve had the opportunity to do a lot of thinking, about life — and about myself. It’s been an amazing past couple of months.
Delurking to write that I think you are awesome. Your posts are so thoughtful and honest. I don’t have children, but I have many of the same thoughts on balance and happiness that you have written about and I appreciate reading about your experience and point of view. Thanks for writing your blog!
This was lovely to read. 🙂 I know what you mean about plans/goals for self-improvement being means of actually enjoying a happy life more fully.
Enjoy your last week off! Are you excited to go back to work?
Looking forward to hearing how the back to work transition goes!
I really liked this post. It is so true. You can still want to make improvements and still be happy. I am always wanting to improve things, but I am still content.
I love this post…this is exactly how I feel most days. I was at my parents’ last week and came across my old journals, and realized I’ve ALWAYS been on some kind of self-improvement project. For me, its an essential part of life—constantly trying to be a little bit better, enjoy things more…the times I DON’T think about that kind of stuff are actually the times I’ve been seriously depressed. Thinking you can make things better is, to me, a sign of HOPE.