good morning // assorted happenings

June 30, 2014

So I’m sitting here, drinking coffee, and not pumping this morning.  Not because I don’t want to, but because I’ve accepted the fact that if I do, C will not be satisfied with his morning meal when he wakes up at 6:30 or so.  My days of hoarding ounces are officially over.

And you know what?  I do feel a little sad, but it’s okay.
The past two nights, I gave C a bottle before bed.  (We breastfed all day on demand and it was absolutely fine and lovely until the evening hours.)  On Saturday night, he took only 2.5 oz but he slept until 2am, which is SO much better than he had been doing.  Last night, he acted absolutely ravenous at 8 when I put him down, so after cluster feeding for hours, I gave him 5 oz which he guzzled almost frantically.  HE SLEPT UNTIL 3 AM.
I’m absolutely not done with breastfeeding.  I hope that — like with Annabel — we continue until at least a year with morning and nighttime feedings.   But I’m done trying so hard to fight nature, and nature dictates that when you are away from your baby at work for 10 hours every weekday, you just can’t QUITE maintain a full supply, even by trying very, very hard.  At least in my case.
SO: I’ll still pump 2-3x/day at work (3 if it’s feasible but I won’t try to force it), and the freezer stash is going to get heavy use until it’s gone.  And I will be happier, and C will be happier, and most likely there will be no other consequences.  (Right? . . .)
It was a good weekend, but Josh was on call, so I felt pretty harried at times.  On the upside, it was a very social 2 days, which was fun!  2 playdates and a TON of family time.  Plus, yesterday I did manage to get both A&C to nap at once.  Instead of trying to fit in a workout, I sat down to just organize all of the stressful to dos floating around — and I feel so much better as a result.  I also wrote out on paper the things that were stressing me out.  I realized that I need to give myself a break (about the breastmilk/pumping thing especially) but at the same time really focus on living intentionally and keeping my true priorities in mind.  Maybe a little more on those later, but now I’m going to run (it’s been a whole week!).
weekend pix

i am obsessed with his lips

rare mother-daughter shot 
(on the way to dinner at chicken kitchen on saturday night)

this one is blurry but she is SO proud of her new backpack

how C napped on Saturday

not our dog but A probably wishes he were

C is waking up and actually PLAYING now which is so much fun

cousin time in the pool w/ poppy (I watched from inside with C!)