not really flowing

January 30, 2015

I am reading Flow and finding it somewhat inspiring and definitely interesting.  I am also getting frustrated.

Earlier this week, I made a conscious decision to start paying attention to when I feel like I am rushing and try to stop.  To step back, breathe, and go all in to whatever it is I am doing without any time pressure in multiple contexts:  laundry-folding, child care, patient notes.  It started out well, but halfway through a busy office day and I realized that I couldn’t just opt out of the race.  Because DO THIS DO THAT GET THIS DONE NOW! started to pile up, and — just like that, I lost my zen mojo.

I’m not ready to give up, but the failed attempt did make me sad.  I don’t think I am harried because I am not managing my time well; I think I am harried because there is far too much (*@#* to do and not enough time to do it.

// end rant.  Maybe the secret is buried somewhere later in the book.  Off to bed to read more.

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