OMDG wrote a post earlier this week that resonated with me. I think it’s for two reasons:
1) She acknowledged the false (yet common) narrative out there that women ‘should’ be able to do everything. You know, exercise for hours daily, overachieve at work, maintain a picture-perfect idyllic home a la Real Simple mag*, and still make time for her 32 hobbies, including crafting, family photo-archiving, and making (and photographing! with a professional camera!) soufflés.
2) She goes on to make a very valid point that despite not being able to do everything on the above list, it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong. Sacrifices of some kind are just a logical extension of the finite number of hours in the week.
Therefore no, one cannot have/do ‘it all’. But one can do a lot.
Things I have chosen to give up/not do:
Cooking (mostly outsourced)
Cleaning (mostly outsourced, and I do ‘pick up’ around the house for perhaps 5-10 minutes at night, often attempting to get Annabel to help me)
Train for long races most of the time
Watch much TV. I probably watch 1-2 shows/week, max. It is not unusual for a week to go by with nothing watched.
Watch many movies (unless we include partial viewings of Disney classics with A, anyway. I think so far in 2015 I’ve seen one. Boyhood was good.)
Have much of a social life. I feel like I keep up with friends to some extent through email/social media, and that is just what works right now.
Things that make me feel like I still get to do a lot/enough
Exercise most days, even if it’s 35-40 minutes most of the time.
Spend time w/ A&C – a couple of hours/day on workdays and more concentrated blocks of time on weekends. This is a great balance for me.
Have enough fun/social events on the calendar that I feel like there’s always something to look forward to, even if they aren’t super-frequent.
Feeling generally engaged and happy at work, because my job feels fun (most of the time) and meaningful (most of the time). If there wasn’t quite so much documentation, I would call my job perfect.
Getting to reconnect with Josh on date nights/weekends. If there is one item on this list I feel could use more time, it’s this one but the limiting factor is his work schedule.
Being able to post here as my ‘craft’/hobby fairly frequently
Reading books/other blogs/podcasts as my media outlets of choice.
There are of course things I’d like to do more of (journaling! yes, home organization projects! more athletic endeavors/social life!), but I find the above list to be satisfying. With a 1 and a 3 year old, it may not be “all” but it is “a lot.” I hope I generally come off as grateful and happy, because most of the time I am.
* Confession: I like Real Simple despite its ridiculousness. But I acknowledge the ridiculousness. And ignore all of the cleaning articles.
I think Boyhood was the only movie I’ve seen in 2015 too now that you mention it.
Aw thanks guys!
I saw Boyhood last fall and while I enjoyed it, I had such a hard time getting over how greasy those adorable kids became once they became teenagers.
as the mother of two adorable boys, you just distilled my fears of the future into a single sentence (joking, kind of, maybe won’t watch the movie, its really looong anyways)
Do you journal outside of the blog? What’s the difference between the types of things you share there and the types of things you share here?
I do like the point that nobody has time for every single thing they want to do. We have to pick and choose!
I loved that post by OMDG and love yours too.
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