If you may remember, I decided to take on the Whole30 this month.
Then I cheated a little bit.
And then a little more.
And by last week, I just gave up. While I stand by my Upholder tendencies, I just had trouble. Reasons include:
1) Wine
2) Motivation. I started feeling better after a few days and lost my motivation to really press on.
3) I knew I had a weekend away on the calendar (this weekend!) and rationalized that since the month would not be ‘perfect’ then there was really no point*
4) I couldn’t really rationalize the need to be so strict with myself.
I’m going to keep my actual numerical weight off of the internet (in part because it sounds lower than it really is because I am 5’1″, or actually 5’0.75″, which was a terrible discovery to make at age 35). But let’s discuss, using X.
X = weight that is ‘normal’ me. Interestingly, this was ‘normal’ me in high school, at my wedding, and now. Body composition has changed FOR SURE, but X is pretty much exactly the same.
X-3 lb = has happened during a few periods of my life — some natural (breastfeeding — the first time) and some less so (lots and lots of miles; certain times of residency; some times in college). I can fit into size 0 dresses at this weight (that I have since given away) but I do not think it is natural for me in most circumstances. Of note, this is where I initially was (due to running/residency lifestyle) during my long period of infertility before Annabel.
X+3 lb = rare but typically induced by stress and/or long periods of indulgence (winter? vacation? whatever). Typically once I hit this point I a) am actually less hungry (I think my body tries to self-regulate) and b) I swing into full ‘intervention’ mode once I have realized/accepted it has happened.
What amazes me about this is — IT’S SUCH A TINY RANGE! Given that it is so small, it is probably not surprising that all 3 are in the healthy BMI range. And yet they feel so different. It has taken me years to accept that “X” is better for me than “X-3” — although the fertility struggles did help put me in my place.
ANYWAY. All that said, I couldn’t cut wine and chocolate out of my life for a month. If I did, I’d probably settle around X-3 temporarily — but what would be the point? I’m not going to give up wine and chocolate forever. Or sweet potato fries. I settled into paleo because it doesn’t feel like deprivation to me. I actually really don’t miss bread/pasta/cheese (and I find that I feel better off of these things). But I could never say the same thing about wine/dark chocolate/etc.
I cannot promise I will not try Whole30 again — there probably will be times in my life when a ‘clean slate’ is a good idea, and I think the Whole30 is a good healthy template for that. But for now I am going back to (my) normal.
* faulty reasoning, I know. But it was a thought pattern nonetheless.
3 Comments
I agree wholeheartedly with your decision to abandon it. Not that I have anything against Whole30, but if you felt it wasn’t working for you, no need to keep it up. I could never give up wine and cheese. Chocolate I can do (I actually can’t remember the last time I had chocolate come to think of it).
3 lbs SEEMS such a tiny amount, but its all proportional. I’m a couple inches taller than you, I tend to fluctuate around 5 lb—though my "X" right now is about 5 lb more than it was pre-kids. Some of that may be muscle, some may be age. I am currently X+6-8 (depending on the day) and I’m trying to get back to X. My clothes fit better and I just FELT better.
We’ve done a whole30 before, which definitely proved to me that junk food does make you feel bad afterwards AND I don’t have one of those "trendy" allergies… gluten, legume, whatnot. I was going to do it again… mostly because I gained some unnecessary poof during winter time… but after 1 day (lol) decided to not stick to it. I think for myself, it’s more healthy to have a good balance and not be so obsessed with "being healthy all the time" (healthy is such a hard word to define too). I just try to be more conscious about what I eat and what I do. It’s not really bad to drink wine or eat dessert. I try to not overdo it so I don’t feel bad the second day. But if I do over-indulge a little bit, so what!? Life goes on. Might as well enjoy it!
My weight range is actually even smaller, about 2 lbs total. Basically from the start of college until now. I’ve dipped below 5-10 times since then, and above once (not including pregnancy). I definitely feel "better" on the lower end of that range, but I admit it’s mostly in my head. 6 lbs is basically an entire size, so I totally get why people get upset about a fluctuation that size. I do sort of agree with lv about short term challenges. Short term weight loss challenges/ diet changes just set you up for regaining later on.