The only way out is through . . .
I am going to start this post by apologizing for vagueblogging. I hate it when others do it, and I try to avoid it at all costs. But I really miss writing here, AND I’m still going through something that is not shareable. So please bear with me.
(NOT dealing with: life-threatening illness, marital/relationship issues, financial ruin. Just clearing things up and reminding myself I *do* have things to be grateful for!)
I spent a lot of last week in wallowing mode. I had to cancel some things and ended up sobbing in my car on more than one occasion. Also, I am not proud to admit it but I fell into a Reddit-saturated frenzy and cannot decide whether it was actually helpful (I needed distraction?) vs not. Admittedly, I did get some useful planner intel conveniently timed for the Hobonichi release! That said, I woke up yesterday with a better attitude and started following some of my own advice.
From a mental health perspective, I do much better when I focus on work / tasks / reading / etc, rather than ruminating on my stressors. This is also good because life goes on and I have A LOT to do!
3 Positive Things
I think that while things are tough I will try to show up to this page every day and, if nothing else, I will share 3 positive things. Not to be all toxic-positivity or anything but the perspective is helpful AND keeping my eyes open for things that are good I think will be of benefit.
1- I had some soreness in my hip last week, but it resolved! Podcast listeners might worry I have a running injury. (Trust me, I would be upset over a running injury, but not this upset, and you would all be hearing about it!). I had some weird soreness in my left hip that appeared after a long run, but it went away entirely with 2 days of rest. I’m not even sure if the rest was needed (it never hurt WHILE running) but I’m glad this approach worked.
2- I got ~8 hours of sleep last night. This year’s routine includes a lot of late activities, but not on Monday — A finishes dance at 7 and then that’s it. Because of this, I am highly motivated to get some extra rest on Mondays — a day when I usually need it anyway because who gets great sleep on Sunday night? (Not me, anyway.) It felt downright luxurious to curl up with a book at 8:25 and I’m pretty sure I was sleeping before 9.
3- I really like G’s new piano teacher! Last year, I took her to a studio and she had two teachers. The first one apparently played on her phone during the 30 minute lessons (uncool!). The second one was very sweet but I don’t think he actually taught her anything. Now we have a woman that comes to our home — I had been texting her for approximately 3 years trying to snag her because she’s so popular, and I can see why. G really likes her and is finally learning to read music.
25 Comments
I miss your posts!!!!! just few lines is fine. I will be busy in coming weeks/ months and will definitely have to write shorter/random posts as I know looking back, I’d like to know my mental state throughout this process.
I miss hearing from you too. Whatever you’re dealing with, a day at a time is always the best way to handle things. And focusing on things that bring you Joy. Routine can definitely be comforting and focusing on work (provided it’s not the stressor… Lol)! Hang in there xoxo
I was so excited to see your post today! One of my kids therapists described tough life situations as a sandwich. There is not way around it. You have to go through the messy sticky middle. I am sorry you are in the messy sticky middle.
Oh it’s lovely to see you back. It feels like you’ve not got much margin your life at the moment, and perhaps that contributes to being able to roll with the punches. Extra sleep whenever you can snag it sounds smart. Sometimes I realise that I’m going to be grouchy and annoying, and I could continue to be in that state, or I could put myself to bed like an overtired toddler.
Be kind to yourself about Reddit…Ezra Klein just did a podcast episode where he mentions, sometimes screen time can just be pleasurable…which is true…the problem is where it becomes our only pleasure. Be well!
It’s so good to see a post from you! I’ve missed you (but totally understand the need to step back when there are things going on in your life). I was worried when you mentioned a running injury on the podcast because dealing with something challenging + not being able to run would be a tough combo!!
That is great that G has a great piano teacher! But I am appalled that a previous teacher spent time on her phone during the lesson? What in the world!! I would like to enroll Paul in lessons next year so should start looking for a teacher now!
Ha, you probably didn’t even remember you mentioned that injury on the podcast, and it really caused a flurry of concern! Some things just aren’t blog-able, and thank you for letting us know that no one is in the hospital and you’re not heading for a divorce (so we don’t have to worry TOO much.) I’m glad you decided to come back to the blog! And yes, thinking about the good things definitely helps- it doesn’t solve everything, but it makes a difference.
Sarah, I hope whatever is happening will resolve in a positive way My belief is we are not given challenges we cannot overcome. They are there to help us grow even though in the middle of it, you may not see the other side. I’m sending you hugs and light.
I was thinking about you all August and through this month because of following the Hobonichi daily announcements online and then being so fortunate to have the Hobonichi popup here in Los Angeles. I went twice!! For preview and then on the last day to buy my cousin avec and sushi decor tape, green basic stencil, and hon clear cover! So excited to start using them!
In fact I sent you a separate email with a link to photos and video of the Hobonichi Popup. I wonder if you got the Denali cover? I was beautiful and I liked the accompanying pencil board image of a vintage plane. I hope you were able to open the link.
Xxxooo
I didn’t get the email!! Would have loved to see – can you resend? I ended up NOT going with Denali though it was a top contender!!!
Sending hugs. Life can really suck sometimes and even if lots of big important things are going well, it doesn’t mean the hard things don’t overshadow the good. I’m a big fan of wallowing for a while. I think our minds deserve it. Like Dr. Becky says: This feels hard because it is hard. When we give ourselves time to grieve and cry and be angry, it can help us move through that murky middle a little more quickly or with a bit less resistance.
I’m sure whatever is going on feels hard because it is very, very hard. Take good care and I’m so glad to read a post from you <3
Just wanted to chime in here to say you are not alone. My 11-year-old is going through some behavioral stuff and I ugly cried in front of the kids on the drive home from Santa’s Village (amusement park in NH). At least you do your crying alone/not in front of the kids :). Prioritizing sleep always helps me keep it together emotionally when the going gets tough, so good on your for getting 8 hours on Monday night!
Hi Sarah, so sorry to hear you are right in the middle of hard stuff, don’t mind at all if you vague blog as we all love reading your posts and miss and worry when you aren’t posting (although of course take any break you need!). I’m sure the Reddit hole was helpful in a small dose, I find YouTube good for that! Sometimes we just actually benefit from distraction, as long as it doesn’t become an everyday thing. Glad to hear you aren’t injured after all! And hooray for good sleep. We are all thinking of you.
I’m excited you are back to blog. I have missed reading.
Glad to have you back, even vague-blogging! Love the idea to post a few items to be grateful for. Maybe we should join you in the comments, that’s definitely something I don’t do enough of!
Hope the hard stuff is going ok.
I’m sorry to hear things are tough right now. Hang in there. Life naturally ebbs and flows between good and bad, and if this is a down stretch, so be it. This too shall pass because the only certainty in life is that it will change. And in the meantime, you don’t have to apologize for vagueblogging. It’s your blog and we’re just along for the ride, so blog however you see fit.
Chiming in to send support in whatever you are going through. You bring so much light and positivity into the world, and I hope you feel the encouragement coming your way.
Adding my voice to those who are happy to see a post from you AND totally get why you need to step back and/or be a bit vague. It’s a fine line wanting to share in community without oversharing. You provide me with so much inspiration and energy and motivation–thank you for that, and I’m mentally sending you good mojo to get through this tough place.
Thank you! As always thanks you for your honesty. It is always ok not to share what you do not want to share. I had a blog and had to stop when I started caring for a close family relative with a tough diagnosis. My life as a carer was frankly crying out for blogging and at some point I need to work out how to share that part of my life – because believe me, it would have helped to have read a blog by someone going through it. But for the amazing human I was caring for – it was just not right. And the nature of the care need means s/he cannot give consent. So hard – so a massive huge thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying that you cannot blog about everything. Even that is incredibly helpful.
I hope whatever it is you are going through resolves itself positively- love and hugs to you. Your blog has kept me sane for a few years now. Thank you.
Abigail, I was care giver for my husband for three years back in 2004, when he had stage 4 cancer and I started a blog about it because he had friends worldwide that wanted to know what was happening. After he passed away, many friends told me to keep writing, and the doctor who took care of him said that he shared my blog with other patients for the same reason you mentioned. I keep thinking I should finish it and write a book as many suggested, or at least try to find it. I have a hard copy somewhere.
Oh Carole, I am so sorry, very hard for you. I agree with your friends – you should do something with that blog. I really hope the writing was useful for you too.
I am so so sorry for your loss, Carole. I can imagine a blog being helpful for some (like myself) in that kind of scenario, and not for others, but I have no doubt your writing could bring others comfort if you ever want to share with the world.
That is so so tough. I think this is where sometimes entirely anonymous forums can be helpful. But you’re right a public blog has its limits, and that is definitely one of them.
Glad you are back! Sending hugs from NJ and sharing that this week has been really sucky for me, too. Loved the latest podcast episode although I got worried when I heard you have an injury. Feel better!
Thank you so much for sharing! When I read this blog, vague-blogging as it were, it somehow describes very closely my current state of life/mind/struggles/how I’m coping. Just wanted to say that there is space here for you, all of you. Xo
thanks Tram <3 I hope your situation resolves very soon.