out of my mind

May 5, 2009

stick a fork in me
in spite of my intentions to glide through same day clinic (which should probably be renamed “FLU FRENZY CLINIC OMG OMG!!”), i instead felt:

☹ rushed
☹ frustrated
☹ harried
☹ overwhelmed
☹ mean
☹ fatigued
☹ stressed
☹ irritated

mondays in same day clinic are hectic even without the whole swine flu issue, so as you can imagine, it was rough. things were just constant and nonstop and i had to eat my lunch in 5 minutes and even then i felt bad taking the time to do it. i hate that! i think part of it is that amazingly enough, i am deconditioned when it comes to working hard thanks to the past few months on easy street. i have no doubt that this week should whip me back into fighting shape pretty quickly.

it wasn’t just that extra people were coming in (though yes, there were people who definitely came because of pig paranoia), but things were just SO slowed down because every single person with 2 or more ‘symptoms’ of the swine flu had to be tested. ie, i had to squirt saline up their nose and suck it back. NOT the most 2-year-old friendly procedure.

by the end of the day i felt like i was coated in virus and other goo and hey, guess what, we were out of N95 masks so now i’m probably destined for flu-land. all i can do is hope that it doesn’t hit me just in time for our vacation in 2 weeks . . .

anyway, i crashed in bed at a ridiculously early hour and (perhaps?) slept my cares away. all i can do is pick myself up and try to have a better day today. calm in the midst of the chaos. after all, the reality is that:

♥ i can only see one patient at a time
♥ everyone WILL get seen and no one will die waiting
♥ clinic will eventually end for the day. really.

i don’t know why i get so caught up in it all, panicking if we’re ‘behind’ and making my own head spin with the stress of it all. honestly, i should leave that for the attendings to worry about! they can always get out of their comfy chairs and start seeing more patients themselves if things get out of control. today, i’m going to try to do that.

* actually, they already help out a lot. i really like the attendings in same day. and i need to try to remain calm and relaxed about the whole affair the way they do.

set up for success!
clinic today will be flanked by:

AM: a relaxing AM run followed by yoga
PM: a meeting (compete with free dinner AND a voucher for one free massage in the future . . . no i am not kidding) on self-care/mindfulness for residents at our integrative medicine center

if i can’t chill under these circumstances, i may be a lost cause. um, happy cinco de mayo!



workout: none, i needed to just crash after work.

doin’ time: leftovers!

reading: ha

flossing: yes. nails: amazingly enough, still intact.


  • Reply atilla March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    happy cinco

  • Reply Jenny March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    Haha Sarah, I love this entry! As a first-year medical student last year I got incredibly stressed out SHADOWING a same-day clinic attending bc he was SO behind. Like I could do anything about it! But people were waiting up to 2 hours to be seen, and he didn’t even seem phased. In retrospect I realize he has internalized the exact points you mentioned – only one person can be seen at a time and they WILL all get seen, eventually. It’s just the way medicine is sometimes. Good luck with the mindfulness and calm, it definitely seems like the right approach to get through the week.

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