right, that work thing
so while i’m definitely slacking on multiple fronts, i’m actually busting my butt at work these days. i forgot how stressful it was to be ‘in charge’ of a service! now, that’s ‘in quotes’ because i am aware that none of the big decisions are up to me (umm . . . that’s a good thing, because i am not a trained cardiologist) but still — i’m at the front line.
yes, the intern still has to field all of the pages about this and that and 347 other things, but i am the one who is supposed to make things run smoothly and efficiently (ie, i get blamed when anything gets (*(&$’d up). i also serve as a liaison between the attendings and the patients, which i think is pretty important. in a way, i haven’t had this much responsibility since last september when i was general ward senior.
all that responsibility is scary. and tiring.
it can be fun, though — and the days go by FAST! today i arrived at work at 7 am; by 1 pm, i had discharged 4 kids and had 4 more coming to fill those slots. turnover like that means a lot of work for everyone, including me. however, i actually really like being busy and prefer a constant stream rather than just sitting around. we had some interesting cases in there, too! it was 5 before i knew it — and then the day was over.
not that long ago,
i was a student at this same institution. i even have documented evidence of my frustrations with the student role (although, to be fair, the experience in that post was at an outside private clinic). so why isn’t it always easy to be the best ever resident/teacher to my med students?
for me, it’s time and stress. sometimes i feel like i am too nervous to let things just slide over to the intern — i am a little too OCD about everything, and that impacts my ability to teach before every little to-do is crossed off of the list. and that’s silly, because our interns are very good and quite experienced by this point in the year. i know i hated to be micromanaged (actually, i still do) and i’m sure they don’t like it, either.
other times, i am not the educational senior i dream of being because i worry that i don’t actually know enough to teach the students, or that i will sound dumb. as i write that, i realize that it is pretty much ridiculous, since i’ve been doing this for 2 years and (almost) no one has told me that i suck at it. therefore, i think i have much to impart on 2nd year medical students. in fact, i am sure of it.
michelle’s take on things
michelle au from the underwear drawer is pretty much my hero in life, or at least in blogging. though she hasn’t posted in a long time, i am assuming it’s because she’s finishing up her BOOK, and if so i forgive her. either way, the recent return of our med students (they went on some sort of vacation . . . interestingly not built into the schedule when i was a 2nd year!) reminded me of these awesome comics:
i think i’m a cross between painfully enthusiastic and, unfortunately, perpetually enraged. how about you? find more of michelle’s comic brilliance here.
YES!
someone at work came up to me today and said that they heard me on the radio. that was pretty much the awesomest thing ever.
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6.16.09: day 2 of slacker week
run: nah
doin’ time: when there’s leftover pizza to be had? i don’t THINK so!
reading: ha
ice cream: sadly, no, but i had some tonight.
2 Comments
Enthusiastic crossed with sensitive soul!
Kind of related…I get nervous when I do most nursing related things. Checking meds eight million times before giving them, asking questions that I KNOW the answer to, etc. I'm scared I'm going to mess something up, and I'm not even the head honcho (aka the doctor!). That's a lot of pressure…and I love when patients tell me the docs have no clue what they're talking about, although I'm pretty certain they do.
I love and hate when I look at the clock and four hours have flown by…so much to do, so little time!