fashion friday, part I
usually, these posts center around sale picks. well, today i just couldn’t bring myself to bypass some of these beautiful early spring pieces! i have no intention of buying any of these (at least at full price!), but even just looking at them brings on a smile.
bold! slouchy! graphic! awesome. perpendicular sweater, $128
the make a splash cowlneck would be likely to do just that. $78
i have absolutely no need for the paraiso dress, $148. but maybe YOU do?
yayyyyy! flares are back. (i never really stopped wearing them!)
dear anthropologie, i would like this whole outfit. love, SHU
fashion friday, part II
i love fashion blogs and read several of them on a regular basis — mostly those which feature my favorite brand (i don’t think i need to clarify that part!). one thing that i have often thought about was the fact that most — not all, but MOST — fashion bloggers are very slim (these references are not meant to be a dig at these lovely and talented bloggers — i love both sites and they seem like great people!).
i have often wondered whether fashion blogging goes hand and hand with body image struggles. after all, you have a bunch of women writing in to talk about whether or not the latest size 0 creation was baggy or snug! and i have to admit i am guilty of being curious of what others thought of the fit of certain things that i felt ran bigger or smaller than usual (or seemed that way!).
yesterday i was browsing around and catching up on some sites i don’t read as regularly, and i came upon two posts: one from little girl big closet and one from adiaphane that opened up this sort of dialogue, and i just thought that both women did a beautiful job writing about their journeys in fashion blogging and how their histories shape their fitting room experiences today.
part of the reason i found this interesting right now is that for the first time in a long time, there are some things in my closet that aren’t comfortable. about 6 months ago, i was happy and satisfied with my body, and it wasn’t like i was restricting my intake or purposefully exercising to be that size! however, i had amenorrhea at that size. and then, 3 months later, i found that i was not responding to fertility medications at that size.
so here i am, 5 lbs heavier and with suffering body image but functioning ovaries. you don’t have to tell me: i have no doubt that this is totally and completely worth it! and obviously, i wouldn’t be able to squeeze into my little sundresses while pregnant, so why is that so important now?! the answer is: it’s not. i’m over it. but it doesn’t mean i always feel great.
i realize i may get some negative feedback again for this post, along the lines of “you’re so lame, why are you still whining about 5 lbs!??”. but i hope these paragraphs do not come off that way. instead, i am aiming to put my own negative thoughts into context, and i am working to embrace these changes; maybe even see them as beautiful. because while i feel most feminine in a colorful strapless frock, it’s being able to do this that truly reflects the power of being a woman.
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1.20.11
workout: 30 minutes at 9:13/mi, 0.5% incline for most of it . . .and i actually turned it DOWN to 9:30/mi for the last few. yes, i’m officially losing fitness! and the world is not coming to an end.
greek-style chicken from this month’s cooking light. i thought this recipe made for a decent quick meal, though it wasn’t earth-shattering.
ground chicken patties stuffed in a whole wheat pita with yogurt-cuc sauce
12 Comments
Have you ever talked to Tina at faithfitnessfun.com? I know that she had to gain some weight to get pregnant and maybe she went through some of the same things that you are going through?
I am also glad flares are back. Skinny jeans don't do much for my muscular thighs.
Another amen to flares…skinny jeans make my 4Ə" frame resemble an oompa loompa. Along those lines, I don't think you are being whiny. It's hard to accept that your "fertile" weight is not your happy weight. When I see ultra thin bloggers (including those with children), I just try to accept that I don't know their whole story. Maybe their bodies are naturally very thin, maybe they had to take fertility medications, etc. Blogs have a nasty habit of making you feel like you know someone when you only know a little slice of who they are (through their eyes). Anyway, thanks as always for the honest posts. I'd rather read them than constantly cheerful ones that didn't have anything to do with how you're feeling!
I gained about 5 lbs last year. I look better and I'm running just as well as before the gain, but I have a few pairs of jeans that are just so much tighter than before and whenever I try them on, the evil little body image voice comes back.
How you are feeling is 100% normal. I'm glad you are able and willing to express them here. Getting them out is so important.
Hey love! Thanks for writing out your true thoughts. I know it's hard to do when people are just waiting to attack but I think it helps you and most people reading to hear the real stuff.
I am definitely more than 5 pounds heavier than when I was at school due to a lot of things (mostly being happy, not being stressed out of my mind and being more flexible about eating). It's frustrating/uncomfortable not being able to fit into clothes. I know you know it's worth it though. Who knows, maybe you'll be able to fit back in your clothes and menstruate after the baby arrives! My mom lost weight after giving birth…no idea how haha
Hang in there. I also realize that a gain of 5 pounds on a small frame is a noticeable difference (I'm 5' 1"). But, as one of the other responders said, if you were not getting your period b/c of low weight, that could not have been healthy–even with a healthy lifestyle. So…perhaps this is a good wake-up call, fertility issues aside, that this new weight is a healthier place for you. Maybe it would help to get rid of the clothing that doesn't fit so that it is less vexing?
anon: you may be right, although it is quite hard for me to accept, especially since i am just NOT (and never was!) some super-tiny little waif. i had chalked my lack of cycle first to stress (residency), then to PCOS (which my ovaries looked like, but i don't meet other criteria so i have since decided i probably don't really have) and honestly was perhaps in denial that it was happening for so long. i went off the pill janཅ and just never got it back . . .
i guess i will just play it by ear from now. i know hormonal things can change a lot after pregnancy so i won't be having an anthro closeout sale just yet 🙂 but i'll try not to be worry too much about that, either.
michelle, keelan, amanda: thank you all so much. i definitely was not fishing, but you still made me feel good! and amanda hope this doesn't come off as weird, but your measurements sound super, smoking, HOT. just sayin'.
lee: tinaFFF is one of my personal heroes 🙂
kristina: that's a good question about pregnancy weight gain. i think i will be so happy that i won't really care, although i would like to gain within the reasonable recommended range 🙂
bschwanke: thanks for sharing your story! that sounds frustrating.
jess: i have seen you in pictures and you look nothing less than fit + amazing. just so you know.
tinaFFF: you are seriously a role model for bringing it up previously! i hadn't read those older entries before, but going back to see what you went through was so incredibly helpful.
allie: <3 <3 <3!
love the dialog
I guess the fashion blogs I read are not ones where the bloggers are obsessing about tiny sizes and weight. I like gigi's gone shopping (she also started another blog about ttc-ing: gigi's gone parental). I occasionally check out My Superfluities; Modestly Styled, Modestly Me; and Musings on the Mountain. I backed off fashion blogs a bit though so I wouldn't be so tempted to buy so much new stuff!
Anyway, I understand you are not comfortable with your newer weight, but that picture you shared of you and your hubby at a party a week or two ago – I thought you looked great, very healthy (and not at all heavy!) I'm 5ƈ" myself, so I understand how a couple pounds makes a difference on a small frame.
I'm happy to hear about flares too. Skinny jeans barely fit over my muscular CALVES. Plus I think I'm not the right proportion for them. I prefer bootcut or straight leg pants with heels!
I absolutely love that make a splash top! I'll be waiting for it to go on sale. Also, I totally blame you for me liking Anthro!
.Hang in there! I had pretty severe knee issues in both knees on and off for the past four years. Everything hurt, recovery was long and I did gain weight that I do not intend to keep. It is hard because you want to be healthy and its hard to keep all the balls in the air while trying to get healthier.
My last surgey was in Oct of 2010 and by 6 weeks later things were finally FINALLY good again. No more pain and I am loving the simplest things. I have a ways to go but am confident I can get there bc my body is ready for that.
You'll get there. You may slow down now and gain a little , but it will all come off later. No worries
I have always been a person who counts down to things. It makes me feel better when I'm stressed, but it also prevents me from experience all of the nows in life. Which are pretty important too. They are as, if not more, iportant than the upcoming vacation or event. Because, as we all know, vacations and "big days" ed far too quickly. Then what are you left with? A big, huge VOID. Yup, and it sucks!
Thanks for the reminder to live in the now and not in the count down to the now you long for.