routine [or lack thereof]

May 30, 2012

of note, this post for blogher/huggies on routines was written a few weeks ago — after a particularly frustrating day!  things are somewhat different now, although not terribly.  [and last night was a particularly frustrating night, so this seems apt.]

routine with a one-month-old

i love routines. morning routines, weekly routines, workout routines — you name the situation, and i probably have a routine for it — or perhaps i should say had. because apparently one-month-olds do not check mama’s planner each day and pencil in naps according to schedule.

HA. yeah right!

still, i thought i’d share . . .
a bit of a ‘where we are now’ post as annabel is one month old. i love reading a-day-in-the-life posts written by other new moms. however, every time i gear up to write one, our day seems to go differently! the only thing i can count on from day to day is that i will be surprised.
so, without further ado, here’s how today went down:

4:30 am as usual, she is my alarm clock. i used to be the quintessential morning person and found it easy to wake up at 5 am. now, thanks to a much later bedtime and overnight feedings, things have definitely changed. feeding #1 commences and then a is back to bed after about 45 minutes. i pump and then join her in dreamland.
7:50 am wake-up call #2. time to actually commit to getting up for good . . .
8:00 am feed #2.
8:45 am time to feed my own face. a is usually in a sunny and happy morning mood, so it’s easy to occupy her while i eat breakfast and clean up a little. until she starts to get a little tired . . . and a little cranky . . . and a lot hungry.
10:00 am feed #3.
10:30 am attempt to put her down for a nap. fail.
10:50 am attempt to put her down for a nap. fail.
11:10 am attempt to put her down for a nap. fail.
11:30 am feed #4.
12:15 pm attempt to put her down for a nap! success . . . i think!? annabel started out as a champion napper, but slowly her daytime sleep has tapered off and i can no longer count on a nap ‘sticking’ when i lay her down.

note my brest friend, this season’s most stylish functional accessory

knowing how unpredictable things can be is making me prioritize everything to the second. i run down my fantasy list of things i really want to do while she sleeps. it looks something like this:
–work out
–answer emails
not knowing how long any given nap will last, i have to do things in a thoughtful order! i hit up the treadmill for 30 minutes and eat lunch . . . and then the jig is up. sadly, it looks like today is not going to be a sleepy one for miss a.

1:30 pm feed #5.
2:15 pm attempt some chores while a is awake but calm and sitting in her bouncer. dishwasher emptied — success! [yeah, i’ll celebrate the little things these days.] laundry folded — miraculous!

hooray! more clean onesies!
3:00 pm feed #6.
3:30 pm attempt to put her down for a nap. fail.
3:50 pm seriously, acting hungry already!? i pack a up in her stroller and attempt to distract her with a walk. this works, and she promptly falls asleep.
4:30 pm back home. feed #7.
5:15 pm another calm awake period. somehow, i manage to make dinner while she watches [sort of] from her bouncy seat. another celebration ensues. i’ve got this . . .
5:45 pm baby meltdown. attempt to put her down for a nap. fail.
5:55 pm attempt to put her down for a nap. fail.
6:00 pm feed #8.
6:45 pm attempt to put her down for a nap. success — for 27 minutes.
7:15 pm feed #9. where is dad?!
8:30 pm midway through feed #10, he’s home! with groceries. dinnertime!
9:30 pm extreme fussiness ensues. bottle of pumped milk given (feed #11).
10:15 pm dad soothes baby to sleep, winning my heart for the day!
1:30 am feed #12.
2:15 am back to bed . . .

lather, rinse and repeat — with some variation, of course.

so there you have it: our routine, or lack thereof. my hope is that with some time, the daytime naps will come back [please!] and the number of feeds will decrease a bit [pretty please!]. but it is what it is, and i’m slowly getting used to the unpredictability. here’s to learning to take things one minute at a time . . . and to finally understanding that there are some things you just can’t plan. and that’s okay.

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  • Reply Marci March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    That is a lot of feedings! Our daytime naps aren’t great. I usually hope for one good long morning one, but yesterday we didn’t get it! So frustrating when they won’t nap!

  • Reply oldmdgirl March 10, 2019 at 7:19 pm

    I’m going to make a suggestion, and feel free to take it or leave it.

    Ok, babies A’s age usually have a "window of wakefulness" of 60-90 minutes after which point the will start becoming over tired. I noticed that A is up for 2-3 hours before her first nap. It *may* be that she’s getting overtired from being awake a long time, and having difficulty falling asleep because of it. Maybe she’s not exhibiting any sleep cues (yawning, eye rubbing, etc.) but some babies don’t, and you have to go by the clock.

    You could try (and by "try" I mean try for a few days, not just once) the following: wake up 8AM, feed her, then at 9:15 start trying to put her down for a nap. Do whatever works to soothe her. Rock her, push her (inside) in her stroller, use a swing (I know you don’t have one, but this is what we used), nurse her to sleep, use a pacifier. She’s less than 3 months so you are free to use whatever you need to soothe her and it is totally ok to put her down already asleep. She can start to learn to self soothe when she’s a little older and I promise you it won’t be too late.

    If she sleeps for 20 minutes and then wakes up again, fine. Try to put her back down for her next nap an hour later. Just make sure you never keep her awake for more than 90 minutes at a time, and make a commitment to start trying to put her down before that 90 minutes is up.

    I know this messes things up for your schedule. Like, when will you eat breakfast? So, what I did was put Dylan on the boppy to nurse, and I’d eat while I nursed her. And surf the internet. Yes, I would occasionally drip cereal onto my nursing baby, but it worked for me.

    This is the resource I used:…. I had no idea about the window of wakefulness, and it seriously helped me so much when I learned about it.

    Also, there may not be much you can do about the witching hour at this point. We started taking Dylan for a walk in the stroller at that time, and gradually ended up moving her bedtime up to 6:30/7PM or so. But that was when she was about 12-14 weeks, so A may not be there yet, and a later bedtime is probably still appropriate for her.

    Hang in there. Remember anyone who brags about their infant sleeping well is lying. They probably only did it once or twice, and you’re hearing about it because the parents were so shocked/relieved that it happened!

    • Reply theSHUbox March 10, 2019 at 7:42 pm

      ahh yes — actually we have gotten better about that 90min-2hr window since this was written -it’s mentioned a zillion times in healthy sleep habits happy child so i’ve tried to take it to heart! that day i’m not sure why it took me so long [perhaps she just wasn’t showing any cues and i wasn’t as good about going by the clock]. it’s funny – sometimes she really does go by the book, and other times not at all.

      this morning i just put her down for her second nap already – just 60 minutes after she got up from the previous one, since it had been short and she was cranky the whole time. she looks to be passed out now so i guess she needed it already!

      i am having a harder time figuring out what to do at night – i’ve read that the early bedtime is appropriate as early at 6 weeks but sometimes i end up fighting her for HOURS. last night i started at 6:45 (she seemed time) and she didn’t actually sleep until 9 – exhausting for both of us. and then it was a subpar night of sleep, getting up every 1.5 – 2.5 hrs.

      i have to admit i’m looking forward to the mythical lengthening of these windows that everyone talks about when she gets older 🙂 i just hope it happens in the next 4 weeks or i am going to be a very tired person at work . . .

  • Reply Claire March 10, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    Love this picture! She looks so comfy and YOU are beaming. 🙂

  • Reply RN how to March 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    I don’t think there’s much you can do about that at this age, unfortunately, except try to ride it out with stroller rides, bouncy seat, bath, etc. Oh also ear plugs.

  • Reply siobhan March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    i LOVE this last picture of the two of you 🙂

  • Reply Liz @ runbakerace March 10, 2019 at 7:19 pm

    Looks a lot like our days lately :). Lucas isn’t big on napping and seems to be awake all the time! Hard to get anything done. Love the last pic of you two, so cute.

  • Reply Allison March 10, 2019 at 7:19 pm

    I remember when my little girl was first home and it felt like all we did was feed!! Every 1.5 hours and she’d want to nurse for 45 minutes. I felt like nursing was the only thing I got done!. Now that she’s bigger she can go 4 hours without nursing sometimes more sometimes less 🙂 But it is still alot easier going places now that she is older – 6 months!

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