two linesSeptember 4, 2012
this month, one of the topics for the huggies/blogher series was to write about that first positive pregnancy test, and how that led to calling the doctor and scheduling a visit.
the prompt sounded simple enough. but immediately, i was flooded with memories of that fateful test and the days leading up to it. the jubilant rush of emotions. the sheer shock and disbelief. my initial thought that OBVIOUSLY, the test was broken because i couldn’t possibly had made two lines appear on that vast expanse of white that i was so used to seeing.
i have to admit that calling the OB was the furthest thing from my mind. obviously i made it there eventually, but i wanted to share a bit more about the days leading up to that positive: my last 2-week wait.
for those that don’t regularly read this blog, my experiences with trying-to-conceive were a long drawn out 2.5-year battle with my body. i was incredibly lucky in the end in that i only had to use oral medications [letrozole] to finally coax my ovaries into action, but it took months and months before i finally made lifestyle changes that i believe were paramount in bringing that lucky egg front and center [you can read more about my issues here, and for the full story see the TTC page].
so anyway, here goes! i hope that most of you reading this have no idea what this is:
for the fortunate uninitiated, the above shot shows an ovulation test strip — and the smiley face is a positive! i cannot tell you how many negatives i saw before this happy icon greeted me one morning. the june 2011 cycle wasn’t the ONLY time i ever ovulated, but it was one out of just a handful of times. by then, i was already 2.5 years into my infertility journey and nearly a year into medicated cycles. seeing the face filled me with hope — but also with dread. i was so used to being disappointed and it seemed to hurt more and more every time.
still, i kept on keeping on. went to yoga, which i was heavily into at the time. in fact, a browse through my computer’s photo archives indicates that i was doing this the day after that positive ovulation test:
hmm, interesting. i was also doing some of this:
on what felt like my 928th 2 week wait, i had given up staying completely alcohol-free. [there’s no good evidence to suggest that a drink during this time would harm the fetus, after all.]
i remember eating this raw milk cheese at a dinner party we hosted at our house, hoping that it would be my last chance to do so.
however, just days into my last two week wait, i started to notice . . .things. i was hot and my heart rate seemed elevated. my face was slightly puffy and flushed [see below — from this vantage point, it’s actually OBVIOUS to me that i’m pregnant in that picture! but i only had hope at the time.]
and most notably, i remember feeling a sharp, twitchy pain in my pelvis on monday, july 18th 2011. i was at our long monday meeting at work, and i can even remember exactly where i was sitting. THAT HAD TO BE IMPLANTATION, RIGHT?! after months and months of googling early pregnancy symptoms, i finally had one that was convincing!
and as it turned out . . .
yep, i was right! i found out on what would have otherwise been an ordinary friday morning, right before work. i’ve written about it before, but i’ll never be able to describe the insane cocktail of emotions that took over as soon as i saw that faint, FAINT second line.
as you can imagine, i eventually came to my senses and scheduled a visit to the reproductive endocrinologist so that i could have my blood tested. and you all know the story ended well [very, very well]. i hope i never forget the experiences of the day i finally got what i had dreamed of for so long.