i’ve documented
the harried pace of a workday with an infant: daycare drop-off, rushed [if any] morning playtime, and pumping galore. thankfully, 28% of life is different. very very different. of note, even though i do work 1 out of 3 weekends [including nights], i am lucky enough to have a job where i still get to spend most of my time at home on those days.
this weekend, though, i was off. josh was not. for the most part, it was just me . . . and the muffin.
we begin at 6:20 am.
miss a. is an early riser. and therefore, so am i. i try not to let her get away with wake ups before 6, but afterwards i figure it’s fair game. [she does go to bed quite early, after all.]
i feed her, change her diaper, and then we hang out. she watches me unload the dishwasher and prepare breakfast:
this particular saturday, she was sporting some awesome fluffy hair
i eat — enjoying some caffeine along with my meal — and try to prioritize/plan out the day, all while singing/talking to/entertaining a.
then it’s time for her breakfast:
carrots and apples — breakfast of [baby] champions
then, lots of floor time. for both of us. this saturday, i moved her from room to room as i attempted to tidy things up from a hectic week.
mom, what’s with the camera today? trying to play in peace here . . .
playtime continues until the smiles start to disappear:
the closest she’ll ever come to a mohawk
no smiling = clear indicator of naptime.
9:00 am: down for the count.
i get my run on . . .
5 miles with a mag
on saturday, i was lucky enough to get my whole planned workout in AND a post-run shower plus some closet organization. today? not so much. thankfully, with motherhood has come a very laid-back attitude about these things. as long as i get to do something, i’m happy.
10:30 am: a is up! i feed her, get her dressed, and head out to brunch to meet e. and her supercute son g. annabel and 6 month old g get along like old pals. unfortunately, we weren’t coordinated enough to each hold our babies and get a good photo!
annabel played on my lap until the food came, and then she got a little break in her seat:
12:30 pm: signs of crankiness. time for another nursing session for her, followed by nap #2. this one lasts an hour — actually really good for her [today’s naps did not go quite so well . . . ]
1:30 pm: up and ready to play! lots of sitting, rolling around, and even some dancing together. perhaps even to “call me maybe” when it came on pandora. unfortunately, it’s still in my head . . .
3:30 pm: smiles are gone. i feed her again, and it’s time for nap #3 — and she always fights this one. eventually she succumbs, but it only lasts 30 minutes. while she naps, i snack + answer some emails.
4:30 pm: dinnertime! we try out her high chair aaaand — victory! she loves it. oatmeal mixed with [breast]milk + banana:
mmm.
5:00 pm: more singing. dancing. playing. a FaceTime session with grandparents.
6:00 pm: bedtime routine begins! bath . . .
dear mom, thank you for cropping this photo. love, your future embarrassed daughter a.
followed by lotion / pajamas / book / feeding / bed. she is asleep by 7, and usually goes down easily at the end of the day.
7:00 pm: time to cook, get organized, drink a beer, and watch modern family
cooking light’s spiced lentils with a poached egg
10:00 pm: the time when i should have pumped. instead, i went to bed.
1:30 am: feeding. nice and cozy if it weren’t for the whole tired part.
5:30 am: feeding. and several failed attempts to get a. to go back to bed.
aaaaaaand that’s a wrap!
it’s not all hearts and flowers
actually having a bit of an emotional night tonight as i just had to give annabel a bottle – the first time i’ve ever done that. despite two hearty meals today [avocado and sweet potatoes for her dinner tonight!] she was not satisfied after i nursed her in the evening and i had nothing left to give . . . other than the pumped milk from friday in the fridge.
i will admit that it hurt my heart but i just knew her cries were hunger, and she passed out after downing 3 oz.
i did cry, but am really hoping that we can maintain our breastfeeding relationship [if not 100% during the weekends, at least at night/in the AM] even when supplementing becomes incorporated into the routine. i have decided against reglan/domperidone [perhaps more on that another time] and will let things happen naturally. i am still going to pump 4x/day. but i am going to stop worrying about using up the stash, and i will throw formula into the mix when it’s gone — likely by the end of the month.
it still makes me sad, but i know everything will be ok.
5 Comments
You are right. . . everything WILL be ok. You know how I can tell? I can see it in her sweet smile. That pic of her in the bath looking straight at the camera with that adorable grin? Yep – she is saying "I’m happy, healthy, growing and developing well and madly in love with my momma." These are the things that matter. 🙂 It is ok to feel sad about supplementing but don’t beat yourself up. Her smile says it all.
Oh that picture is funny, I think G was trying to grab the phone out of my hands! I’m so sorry that you had to give A the bottle last night, I would cry too. I’ve read a lot about women who only nurse in the morning and before bed, and give formula bottles at day care and during the weekends, so it’s definitely do-able, and probably what I’m going to do when the time comes. A is a very happy, healthy little sweetheart! And she looks great in her high chair!
You’re not alone on the still hungry baby after draining you. We’ve had to rush to heat up a bag of frozen bm several evenings, too. Luckily it’s not every night. I figure she just has some days where she is more hungry than others just like we do. Don’t stress over having to give a bottle after a full nursing session and know you aren’t alone on this. We’ve made it 6mo already so you’re doing great!
Don’t fret, this does happen to a lot of us. With my first child I went dry at three months and with my second child I went dry at two and a half months. I cried and thought that I wouldn’t be able to bond with my children, but I also didn’t go into labor and was induced with both (another inadequacy I had to cope with). However, they are now 6 and 3 years-old and they love me the most!
Another topic you have expressed concern over is being a working mom. I have worked and gone to school full-time all this time. Again, my kiddies still love me the most.
It doesn’t matter how much you nurse, how much time you spend, or anything else that can be quantified. All that matters is that the time you have with them is quality. You are a good mom, and she is going to love you no matter what! (I tell myself that first part on a daily basis, it really does help.)
Oh my gosh A looks like you! She is seriously so incredibly adorable.