when i [finally] got pregnant,
i was incredibly happy. but in writing here, i had to be vague for the first several weeks. keeping it mum on the blog was difficult, and i felt blocked whenever i did try to write anything — because i really wasn’t thinking of much else, and therefore anything i had to say felt disingenuous.
so . . . just to clarify, no, i’m not pregnant.
but if you noticed i had stopped begging the universe to allow things to fall into my favor so that i could get hired — in a rather specific geographic location during a specific time frame in a specific specialty —
[aka, it was a little nerve racking] —
i will confirm that YES, it looks like i’m going to be gainfully employed after fellowship! i am not going to publish too many details but if you read this and are curious you can always email me.
of post-graduate training. one minute i feel ready to dive in; the next i am terrified. i’m so relieved — and also nervous. and it’s thrown me into a bit of a tailspin because i’m trying to focus on the present [REALLY trying] but there’s just so much to think about re: the future.
i’m also tired, feeling a little burned out, and failing at 100% of my february goals. [*$@#! — i mean, oops.]
i think, to be quite honest, that i need a little time to reflect on my own and just catch up on rest. so, i’ll be back in a week or so. but i wanted to let this out so that i can come back and write honestly again!
see you all soon!