September 13, 2013

giving annabel a bath this evening, i noticed a funny looking bruise on her shoulder.  

except on closer inspection, it wasn’t a bruise — the markings were clearly mouth-shaped.  toddler mouth-shaped.
it’s not the bite that bothered me — of COURSE that’s bound to happen in day care!  it’s the fact that no one mentioned this to me or josh.  it may be related to our pickup/dropoff hours, or perhaps it’s a language barrier [much of the day care staff speaks some english, but not everyone.]  am i naive or being too nitpicky to expect this sort of thing to be mentioned?
josh postulated that maybe they didn’t notice it happening, but . . . that would be equally disturbing, if not more so.
i really think annabel has a good time at her day care and generally the care is good.  but i keep getting an uneasy feeling that it’s not as good as it perhaps could be.  we were planning on changing up our childcare routine once #2 arrived anyway, but maybe we need to start a nanny search now.


  • Reply Denise March 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    Unacceptable! Most schools/day cares have serious biting policies! Between the bite and the movie, I say start the nanny search. Miami is one of the best cities for finding a good nanny. Let me know if you start looking and I will ask around for you. Word of mouth recs are the best. Good luck! I know it’s stressful!

  • Reply Christie March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    I’d be pretty freaked out by that too. My child’s old daycare had a protocol for handling injuries that involved an incident report and a phone call to the parent if it was more than a small bump/bruise. I’d definitely speak to the teacher and director about it.

  • Reply Amy March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Whoa whoa whoa! Absolutely that should have been mentioned to you, and if they didn’t notice it happen, that’s an even bigger problem. I work PT as a church nursery director and we have a serious biting policy. It’s a big deal, and not telling you (or the biter’s parents, presumably) about it is unacceptable. I would definitely start the nanny search. Good luck!

  • Reply Erica March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Griffin has been bitten twice at day care. The first we were told about and our day care teacher felt really bad, but we knew that the girl who did it was a biter (since it’s a small day care all the parents talk to each other and we knew it might happen). The second time was similar to your story, we saw a bite mark on his shoulder during a bath. When we brought it up, our teacher felt terrible that she didn’t see it happen. I know how Griffin likes to play, he’s a tackler and a hugger, so it’s possible that it just happened while they were rough housing.

    Since it’s a small day care, we don’t have incident reports, but she did call us when it happened. I have a friend who sends their son to the daycare at the EPA in RTP and he gets bit at least once a week and they are constantly dealing with the incident reports (they have to sign them and write a response, but the kid and the parents are kept secret). When their child has bitten/hit someone it’s a similar situation.

    I hope you guys come up with a childcare situation that works for you and the kiddos!

  • Reply Angie March 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    Go with your gut! That is major, especially if they didn’t see it happen. I know things like that happen but they need to mention it to the parents. I would probably start looking for alternative childcare if you don’t comfortable.

  • Reply Brittnie March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    I think if Clara was in daycare that this would bother me and I would say something. Like others have said, go with your gut. Us mommas have gut instincts for a reason :).

  • Reply Melissa Hall March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    South Florida has amazing Montessori pre schools. I think you would love it if you checked one out. They would take Annabel’s amazing focus and concentration and just run with it!

  • Reply Beth March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    This is an issue for sure. Speak to them about it but I would start the search for alternative care. Biting happens but is still a major issue and you should have been informed.

  • Reply @bzbear2 March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    wow, I would be upset if our pre school didn’t mention biting. I think you should bring it up with them and see what they say – perhaps an apology and an explanation will come right away, but if not, I would start searching!

  • Reply @re_psych March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    It doesn’t sound OK, not to let you know about the bite. I don’t have kids, so I didn’t even know that toddlers bite other toddlers!

  • Reply Marie March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Oh, good luck! I hope you find a great nanny soon. You’re right to trust your instincts. My daughter got bit last week at the gym childcare and they did an incident report even though it didn’t leave a mark. I would think the biter’s parents would also want to be informed in case it’s a recurring thing.

  • Reply Marci March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Our daycare has a biting policy with a form that must be signed by parents when it happens. Have you looked into synagogues or JCC nearby? I am a believer in the group setting especially over age one.

  • Reply Linda March 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    I would speak to the director immediately. Injuries including biting do happen, but the fact that you were not informed at all is completely unacceptable. Our daycare documents incidents and calls and/or emails if anything happens to our child from a bump, scratch, bruise or bite. Our daughter has been bitten before and not only were we notified but the parents of the biter were notified too. Sorry you are having to deal with this, I know how tough it can be.

  • Reply Carolyn March 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    I would definitely start your search now. is how we found a great nanny.

  • Reply Tricia March 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    I have to sign an incident report for every little thing that happens at our daycare. Including when she got bit on the leg. No way they didn’t notice bc if it left a mark, she cried! Get out of there!

  • Reply Chelsea March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Finding good childcare from a distance is something I really worry about when we (hopefully) move this summer… Hopefully just being in town will help you be able to make a good change.

  • Reply Angela March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Trust your gut— every single time! Whether its about day care, feeding, sleeping, or when you start potty training– parental gut instinct is pretty accurate!
    Good luck!

  • Reply Jennifer March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Do whatever you think is best for your kid. This happened to me before and it’s really disturbing. I ended up hiring a nanny.

  • Reply Marissa@ohhhsolovely March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    i have been an early childhood teacher for 8 years now. in my opinion, this is completely unacceptable. at school with the little ones, we have to be so conscious of everyone’s safety. its not acceptable if the day care providers didn’t see/notice it happen & it’s even more wrong that no one told you about it. again, in my opinion, i would definitely start the search for new/different childcare. lots of families where i work use nannies, some have been with these families for years, and most everyone i know considers their nanny as part of the family. my advice is interview, interview, interview!!! good luck with this!

  • Reply Sharon March 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    I think if there was a bruise from a bite then annabel would have been screaming or at least crying! How could they not notice that?? Iris was actually the "biter" at her daycare (only one incidient!) so we were definitely notified of that. You should have been as well. The thing with nannies however is that if they are sick, you are out of childcare (as opposed to daycare where they are contractually required to provide day care). Any other daycare centers around?

  • Reply Shelly March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Our daycare called us right away the 2 times that our son was bitten, in addition to emailing us a "boo boo report" at the end of the day. So I agree that I wouldn’t be so worried that it happened, but definitely not ok that they didn’t tell you (or notice)!

  • Reply anon March 10, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    don’t mean to sound bitchy but you are sooooo neurotic. i get that this is a big deal, but instead of posting about it, just say something to the daycare (or not-it’s your choice). and this isn’t the only time with a freakout about something you should resolve on your own/with your husband/not on the net. chill out before you give you your daughter & not-yet-born baby anxiety issues. and no, i’m not kidding.

  • Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.