copycat + a confession

October 6, 2013
first of all, i had to share this photo.  i think the highlight of the weekend thus far was capturing this:
me: 20.5 weeks.  annabel: 1.5 years old!

i had asked josh to take a picture of the bump, because i wanted to prove to the online world that I AM HUUUUUUGE.  huge for 20.5 weeks, anyway — for comparison, here i am at 24 weeks last time — definitely bigger now!  and then annabel ran into the frame and did her version and the picture was upgraded times a million.

second, i have a confession to make.
well, not really a confession, but sometimes it feels that way.  as you all know, i used to cook.   [and someday, i will again!].  but last week we enjoyed:

— salmon, brussels sprouts, and brown rice
— jerk chicken [spicy, with indian flavors!] with sweet potatoes and broccoli
— whole wheat pasta with meat sauce + salad
— cajun shrimp with mixed vegetables

and i made exactly none of it, nor did i clean up.  our nanny happens to be a great cook and has been hitting the kitchen during the hours that a. is at ‘school’ and during her naptime.  i don’t know if she will be able to continue to work this magic once #2 arrives, but it is amazing for right now.  instead of spending 7:15 – 9 cooking/eating/cleaning up, i actually enjoyed some down time each evening last week.

i feel conflicted about enjoying this, and about admitting it here, because i fear coming off as spoiled or privileged.  after all, josh and i have worked hard to finally have careers that allow us to do this kind of thing, and we continue to do so [day #6 of #7 of my call week – whew!].  yet many others who also work extremely hard do not reap such tangible rewards.  and in an age where martyrdom seems to be the badge of honor for moms of young kids, both working and at-home, this is perhaps an admission of defeat.  but the thing is:  more and more, i just feel like i’d rather opt out of the game altogether.  enjoy my child [and soon, children].  enjoy my marriage.  enjoy my limited time on this earth.

which means not wasting time feeling guilty.

what i have not done — yet — is actually do anything productive with my newfound time.  such as study, with my board exam getting alarmingly close [something like 5 weeks to go.  aughgh!].  at the same time, i have several completely unrelated things i really want to do:

nagging tasks and projects
[some fun, some . . . not so fun]

βœ” organize clothes upstairs — right now maternity-wear is jumbled with form-fitting garments.  this drives me crazy every morning, and i’m tired of staring at clothes that i won’t be getting into for at least four six months or more.

βœ” attack digital clutter.  files on my aging [but still functional] mac laptop are just all over the place.  in preparation for an upgrade in a year or so, i need to get the digital mishmash under control.

βœ” update music collection on phone.  i cleaned out and updated the podcasts, but the music on there is still what i put on about a year ago and i am desperate for a new mix of songs!

also need to consider spotify for iPhone [anyone have it?].  i do like owning albums but the whole try-before-you-buy thing has its merits.

βœ” get a list of good restaurants to try near us!  any locals!?  we’re in miami beach — in mid-beach, between south and north.  there isn’t much to speak of right near us, but i’ve enjoyed a few good dinners in south beach and the design district [we love CATCH and michael’s genuine].  if you have any recommendations of places OR sites to look at for recommendations, please share!

not terribly ambitious, right?