3 weeks out: update

January 4, 2018

3 weeks and 2 days, to be exact.

I don’t know if it came across on this blog or the podcast, but I was pretty-effing-emotional (and kind of a mess) the first week or so after G was born.  I was crying a lot, anxious about everything, super-defensive, and just generally so worried in a “WHAT DID I DO TO OUR FAMILY” sort of a way.  
I think Josh had to bear the brunt of it, and perhaps it took him time to realize exactly how much emotional and physical support/coddling I needed at the time (A LOT).  I was so tired, having started out sleep-deprived from being up all night contracting even before G was born and having an exhausting hospital experience (just generally uncomfortable, constantly interrupted by various vitals checks, etc).  I think I was delirious from hormones + sleep deprivation for at least a week.
Things are much, much, MUUUUUCH better now.  I’m really glad I had my parents here fairly early (but not toooo early in the game when I was insane) because it took some time to generally figure out G’s rhythms, or perhaps for them to develop at all.  The kids went through quite an adjustment period which is still happening but is now much better as they’ve gotten used to things more.  I do think it’s perhaps easier in that there are two of them so that they can pair off – I can imagine an only child who is used to tons of one-on-one parental attention would struggle like crazy.
I was having a lot of pain in my right breast (like 5-alarm every time she latched!) but it’s completely better now and all of the scabbing/general destruction has resolved.  I did end up buying the Mama Organic Nipple Butter on your (readers) recommendation, and that may have helped, but also I think the passage of time played a big role.
Some bullet points . . .
– She is sleeping most nights from about 9:30 – 1:30, 2 – 4:30, and 4:45 – 6:30.  Seriously, it’s usually so close to this it’s as if she set a timer.  This is 100% a-okay with me.  I know she may become a lot more restless as time goes on, but for now I’m thrilled.
– Breastfeeding is going well.  I haven’t started pumping but I did get out the new pump yesterday (Spectra S2) and will try it tomorrow.  I usually start with just an ounce or two per day because I get paranoid about her being too hungry if I drain off too much, and I don’t necessarily want to give her a bottle yet.
– I kind of fit into (some of) my clothes!  Yay.  I’m 2-3 lbs above pre-preg weight but will probably hold onto this for a while during the nursing months if history is any indication.   It is 9000 times more comfortable to be not-pregnant than pregnant.  At least for me.
– I have been energized by the new year (good time to start a new life chapter!) and have been enjoying reading (while nursing especially), listening to music, and getting some minor organization done at home.   I feel lucky to have this time at home and cannot imagine wanting it to end in 8.5 weeks, even though 12 wks is excellent by American standards.  
Photo dump . . .


  • Reply Sara B. March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    It”s so good to hear that things are getting better! And to hear you talk about the emotion/exhaustion. I”ve hit 34 weeks (probably of 38) and as much as I am DONE with this pregnancy, I”m also dreading the early postpartum period. I was fortunate not to deal with much depression / generalized anxiety with the now 3-year old, but I”m worried because I”m already so tired. This whole pregnancy has been exhausting, i didn”t really get a 2nd tri break, and I”ve taken on this giant project at work, which won”t really pause for my leave. Which will therefore be short and punctuated by work. (Yay for leaning in while pregnant!). It”s absolutely the right thing to do, but still. And I”m dreading being home with my nanny for weeks, although there”s no good way to manage without her either. (My nanny is great with my kid. But it”s like having a second mother-in-law. I spend a decent amount of time around her either biting my tongue or making my escape, and I”m sure im not going to find it easy once the hormones are added in.). Anyhow, I will remember that it isn”t supposed to be easy, and that it will get better. And she is adorable!

    • Reply theSHUbox March 10, 2019 at 7:07 pm

      Thank you Sara – and hooray for being almost done!! Maybe pre-warn your nanny that you’re going to need space initially – it really is hard!

  • Reply lapetitelumiere March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Thanks for sharing this, Sarah, and I’m glad things are getting better. I’m due with my second in June, when my first will be almost 4. I’m curious to hear more about how you manage the older two as time goes on. Our daughter has been the center of the universe, so I am way, way more worried about her than I am about the baby. I think you expressed this same sentiment in an earlier post, and I definitely get it. She is the most strong-willed human I have ever met, so I’m gearing up for some rough times!

    Your planner posts have been so motivational, so thanks for that, too! Finding one’s rhythm after a baby is no small feat, and it’s inspirational to see you finding your footing with three kids.

  • Reply Ana March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    I’m so glad you are feeling better! The emotional and physical upheaval for the first couple of weeks is mind-blowing and baffling. Why was it designed to be so hard?! It sounds like you are settling into a good rhythm and I hope it lasts.

  • Reply Caroline March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    I, too, am impressed by how quickly you”ve gotten to within a few pounds of your pre-pregnancy weight!
    I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on the Spectra once you give it a try. I spent a lot of time in “pumping mama” FB groups with Caleb, and the Spectra seems to be the preferred model. (I just used the Medela provided by my insurance).

  • Reply Omdg March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    It”s completely understandable that you felt that way, and I too am happy that you”re feeling better. You”re such a good mom, and your kids are going to be fine. Transitions are hard for little kids.

    • Reply theSHUbox March 10, 2019 at 7:06 pm

      thank you OMDG – I think you are a great mom, too, by the way.

  • Reply Laura Vanderkam March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    The fact that you are only 2-3 lbs up from your pre-pregnancy weight just blows my mind. You are amazing. And she is so so cute!!

    • Reply theSHUbox March 10, 2019 at 7:07 pm

      I think it’s more that I didn’t gain that much – 23 lb or so by the end. I had a ton of nausea and reflux and early satiety at the end so it wasn’t on purpose, but hey, it worked out okay! I was pleasantly surprised. My jeans are still not the most flattering but I can get them on 🙂

  • Reply Andrea March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    I listened to your baby minisode podcast earlier this week – so great that you are feeling better! Not sure if this is an option for you but pumping during my commute saved me so much time especially since I had twins, and the LC recommended 25 min pump sessions. Although I have a long commute (1-1.5 hours each way), I learned about the option from friends who used their 15-20 min commute time to pump to decrease the # of pumping sessions at work and therefore minimize stress of fitting them in with meetings, etc. You’ve got this!!

    • Reply theSHUbox March 10, 2019 at 7:06 pm

      I may consider, but the timing doesn’t work so well – I don’t get much when I’ve JUST fed G, and I’m hoping to feed her basically right before leaving and right on returning home (esp if I pumped coming home, I’d have nothing for her and that would be terrible!).

      I also have to do a lot of manual compression to get max pump volumes to that also makes car pumping (assuming Im the one driving!) tough for me!!

  • Reply SusannahEarlyBd March 10, 2019 at 7:07 pm

    I felt like I was hit by truck emotionally the first week-two weeks with each child; it was the worst the first time around, actually…I think just because my body/mind had never been through that before. I cry a lot during the first two weeks from both joy and sadness–everything is just so heightened! Just sharing that for me that experience is my "norm" and I definitely expect it this time around as well. You’re really doing great—my brain always feels very fuzzy the first few weeks so the fact that you are able to clearly plan and thoughtfully consider goals/habits etc is awesome.

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