3 weeks out: update

January 4, 2018

3 weeks and 2 days, to be exact.

I don’t know if it came across on this blog or the podcast, but I was pretty-effing-emotional (and kind of a mess) the first week or so after G was born.  I was crying a lot, anxious about everything, super-defensive, and just generally so worried in a “WHAT DID I DO TO OUR FAMILY” sort of a way.  
I think Josh had to bear the brunt of it, and perhaps it took him time to realize exactly how much emotional and physical support/coddling I needed at the time (A LOT).  I was so tired, having started out sleep-deprived from being up all night contracting even before G was born and having an exhausting hospital experience (just generally uncomfortable, constantly interrupted by various vitals checks, etc).  I think I was delirious from hormones + sleep deprivation for at least a week.
Things are much, much, MUUUUUCH better now.  I’m really glad I had my parents here fairly early (but not toooo early in the game when I was insane) because it took some time to generally figure out G’s rhythms, or perhaps for them to develop at all.  The kids went through quite an adjustment period which is still happening but is now much better as they’ve gotten used to things more.  I do think it’s perhaps easier in that there are two of them so that they can pair off – I can imagine an only child who is used to tons of one-on-one parental attention would struggle like crazy.
I was having a lot of pain in my right breast (like 5-alarm every time she latched!) but it’s completely better now and all of the scabbing/general destruction has resolved.  I did end up buying the Mama Organic Nipple Butter on your (readers) recommendation, and that may have helped, but also I think the passage of time played a big role.
Some bullet points . . .
– She is sleeping most nights from about 9:30 – 1:30, 2 – 4:30, and 4:45 – 6:30.  Seriously, it’s usually so close to this it’s as if she set a timer.  This is 100% a-okay with me.  I know she may become a lot more restless as time goes on, but for now I’m thrilled.
– Breastfeeding is going well.  I haven’t started pumping but I did get out the new pump yesterday (Spectra S2) and will try it tomorrow.  I usually start with just an ounce or two per day because I get paranoid about her being too hungry if I drain off too much, and I don’t necessarily want to give her a bottle yet.
– I kind of fit into (some of) my clothes!  Yay.  I’m 2-3 lbs above pre-preg weight but will probably hold onto this for a while during the nursing months if history is any indication.   It is 9000 times more comfortable to be not-pregnant than pregnant.  At least for me.
– I have been energized by the new year (good time to start a new life chapter!) and have been enjoying reading (while nursing especially), listening to music, and getting some minor organization done at home.   I feel lucky to have this time at home and cannot imagine wanting it to end in 8.5 weeks, even though 12 wks is excellent by American standards.  
Photo dump . . .

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