5th tri blues

March 20, 2018

What can I say . . . the Fifth Trimester is kind of kicking my ass.  I honestly don’t remember feeling this emotionally or physically wrecked the past two times — or maybe it’s just that my memories are fuzzy and rose-colored.  Because a quick scroll-through ye olde blog archives does reveal that a) I was tired and b) I had the same freakouts about milk/pumping (ad nauseum).   However, I guess I do appreciate the transience of it all a bit more.  I am less apt to care about how often she’s waking up because I don’t see it as a forever thing.  I honestly could care less about my lumpy still-postpartum-feeling body, because I know it’s something I can address once the season of pumping/feeding is over.  I am not questioning my career choices — even though I am honestly NOT thrilled to be working right now*, I know I will feel differently in a few months.

So, I’m going forward.  Ounce by ounce (of milk, of course).  One day at a time.

5 good things:

1) Our residency program FILLED!  In fact, we did extremely well in the match considering we are a brand new program!  Very very excited to welcome our first class this summer.  (On that note, I will have been an attending/non-trainee physician for 5 years by the time they start!  How did that happen?!)

2) I have streamlined my makeup routine to about 3 minutes (what can I say . . . I’m unwilling to spend much more time on this!).  Product I am currently enjoying: Dior Glow Nude.  I put on a really light swipe of it, and I think it makes me look . . . at least somewhat alive.

3) I am meditating.  Using the Calm app.  I think I like Headspace better, but Calm has more free features and I don’t want to do a pay subscription again for now (plus I exhausted my allowance on another Lotuff bag.  Oops.)

4) Laura must have known I’d be overwhelmed, because we are way ahead in podcast recordings!  Whew.  Today’s episode features an emergency medicine physician, and I really enjoyed getting another medical voice in there!  As always, you can listen here or on your usual podcast apps.  And I’m trying to get us added to Spotify.

5) I have gone to bed 9 pm or earlier 3 out of the past 4 nights.  This is apparently the key to survival right now.


1) I’m starting a call week (!!!)

2) I’m somewhat sick and I think G is too (mildly).

Wish us luck.


* PS: My patients need to stop asking me (typically delivered with a knowing look) how I feel to be back.  Maybe they mean well, but it makes me want to just say “Actually, I’d really prefer to be home with my 3 month old baby”.  What do they want me to say!?!?