well, hello!

March 28, 2018

I didn’t mean for an entire week to go by between posts, but — well, here we are!  I survived my first week of call post-Genevieve.  Honestly, it was really rough.  The first three nights were brutal – I was essentially answering patient calls between G’s feedings, which left very little time left for SLEEP*.  It felt inhumane in the way that I recall certain parts of residency.  Thankfully, the rest of the week was somewhat better.  But I did have to see multiple patients in the hospital over the weekend**, which meant 8 straight days of pumping (including a 5 am session).

Perhaps unsurprisingly, we’ve also been dealing with a typical family round of viral crap — as usual, Cameron and I had most of the symptoms while Josh and Annabel were essentially spared (what’s up with that!?).  G has her first real runny nose now and even had a bit of a temp over the weekend — poor baby!  But at least she’s past that super-newborn stage when fever = hospitalization.  Glad we made it through that period without incident!

Needless to say, I finished out the week entirely exhausted.  Spent.  But it’s over now, and I had yesterday off to recover, and I am feeling human again.

I often get people asking me how I “do it all”, and this was one of those times when I’d just like to officially announce that I DO NOT.   I was 100% in survival mode, which included:

✅ Extra help from our nanny (she stayed until 7 pm on my call nights)

✅ A whole lot of mind-numbing-phone use (and supportive texting from a friend).  My Moment graphs look terrible!

✅ Very little exercise (too tired and my URI was also a convenient excuse)

✅  Sleeping in whenever I could (after the 5 am pump) rather than keeping up with my usual AM routine.  The lack of organization time left me feeling uneasy (I NEED my weekly review process!) but sometimes you just have to compromise.

✅ Ignoring my email and most of my to do list (just caught up to some extent this AM)

✅ Saying no to adding anything ‘optional’ to the calendar or to my days.  Including evening meetings/events at work.  I know this runs counter to some of what I’ve talked about on the podcast, but . . . this is a season.  A season where G needs me to physically be around her as much as I feasibly can.

✅ Cranky parenting of A&C — not happy about this, but honestly I’d give myself a C-plusin patience with them the past week.  Last night was much better, though!

I’m mildly traumatized and not excited to do it all again in 20 days, which is the # I have until the next call week in this particular case.  So.  I guess I had better try to appreciate my freedom and hope for a lighter week, because I’m pretty sure G is not going to be sleeping much more anytime soon (cue the 4 month sleep regression . . . ).

good thing she is this cute

* Tuesday through Thursday went something like: Bed @ 9:30p.  Get paged at 10:30p.  G wakes to nurse at 12a. Paged at 1:30a, up until 2:15a entering orders.  G wakes to nurse at 3:30a.  Pump at 5a.  Paged at 6a.  Go to work all day and repeat.  Turn into sleep-deprived maniac.

** And yes, this did help me maintain perspective because I saw some really sick kids and was reminded that while I may have some mild stressors right now, I’m still incredibly lucky that mine are healthy.


  • Reply Emily March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    You should not feel bad AT ALL about phone use and cranky parenting with a week like this! You are doing amazing just surviving such an insane work and sleep schedule!

    • Reply theSHUbox March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

      Oh I don”t! (Well, maybe a little about the cranky parenting). Survival mode is necessary sometimes!!!

  • Reply Christine Cortese March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    I’d be dead straight up. No way can I function with that little sleep and I cannot imagine how much actual work you were doing on top of it. I hope the next babies you have to care for are grandchildren when you are happily retired.

  • Reply Dawn Burke March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    So much admiration for you. Thank you for sharing the hard parts of life, your kids and your patients are very lucky to have you!

  • Reply Omdg March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    The baby”s sleep was bad enough and you got to throw home call in on top of it. No wonder you were tired and cranky! It will get better, but MAN that sounds god awful.

  • Reply Sophia March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Sorry you had such a tough week. Please go easy with yourself on the parenting, I’ve been known to feed my kids dunkin donuts for dinner when I’m post call. It’ll get easier.

  • Reply Ana March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    oh wow, that sounds rough, I’m sorry. I hope your next call week is better, and that you are nice and recovered by then. the podcast this week wasa great, made me happy to hear you guys sound so happy!

  • Reply Irene March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    I am SO sorry. During the terrible early days with my oldest a friend told me sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture…that made me feel better about how badly I was struggling with it. I had a bad week with a cold cycling through our family too meaning both the baby and the older kid were up extra. But at least no one expected me to be able to think! I don”t know how you do it. Maybe you can get some one to trade the next call week for one in a couple months? It will be better so soon…

  • Reply Sarah March 10, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    Dear lord, you poor thing!!!! I have 3 week old twins, and that night schedule sent ME into a cold sweat!!!! I, too, am so sorry. Here’s another silver lining- G will be closer to 6 months with each call week, and by then sleeping longer and/or Josh can help you with feedings! Hang in there and please, please cut yourself some slack with phone use, lack of exercise and cranky parenting. My phone has sadly become my 3rd hand, but hey, it’s aaaallll temporary.

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