entering August and feeling okay

August 1, 2018

It’s August.

(!)

G will turn 8 months in 11 days.  We will go on our first real family vacation since June of last year — our first as a family of 5!  Annabel will enter 1st grade.  Cameron will start his last year of preschool (pre-K).  And I will really try to forgive myself for having a tough year.

I posted the photo / caption above on Instagram yesterday (I’m @the_shubox) and it felt somewhat cathartic.  I am not doing it all.  I am doing what I can, and I am continually prioritizing and making choices.  This is something that everyone does all the time, but it has a unique set of challenges in my current baby-centric season.
I have several aspects of life on hold because of Genevieve, and I have concluded:
a) it’s temporary (oh so temporary!  Did I mention that it’s August already!?  Didn’t we just start 2018?!)
b) it’s worth it, because it’s what I want
c) it’s okay to do what I want, even if it doesn’t fit some cultural narrative or even make rational sense.
I am doing plenty (going to work, parenting 3 children, nursing G, exercising sometimes, reading sometimes, seeing friends sometimes, etc), and the things that are not happening as much right now — honestly, they can wait. I’m going to skip October’s conference (I’ll have two work conferences to enjoy in 2019!).  I’m going to forgive myself for not putting as much energy into side endeavors (mostly writing goals) for now.  I’m going to go to bed early more often, and I’m going to try to take one night/week entirely off from Big Kid Bedtime (thank you Josh).  I’m not going to worry about whether or not I am ‘progressing’ in my workouts (hello, Upholder tightening) — if I’m doing something active most days, that is great.
There is a lot to look forward to in the coming months, and I will miss the experiences if I’m too focused on looking down at what I’m not doing.
Happy August.  Here’s to a full month.  
  

7 Comments

  • Reply Elaine March 10, 2019 at 7:07 pm

    I”m so glad you”re acknowledging all the things you have accomplished, because you”re doing so much and should be proud of that 🙂 I”m an Upholder too and find it all too easy to focus on the stuff that I “should” be doing but haven”t achieved, and that really steals from all the wonderful things that I have actually done.

  • Reply Danielle March 10, 2019 at 7:06 pm

    B & C. That’s why I read here. I don’t have kids, I don’t run, we live in different climates, (*whispering that I have a doctor phobia*) etc. I found your blog because of your love for paper planners. I stay because somehow despite how different our lives are you sometimes say things that profoundly make me think about my own life.

  • Reply Rinna March 10, 2019 at 7:06 pm

    Great post! Kudos to you for deciding to skip the conference. I really feel like that’s the right decision for you right now.

  • Reply Omdg March 10, 2019 at 7:01 pm

    A wise mentor once told me that each day if you stay at the same level with your workouts, and even if you get a little worse, that actually you are improving because you”re also getting older. Words to cling to!

  • Reply Andrea March 10, 2019 at 7:01 pm

    You are amazing .. thank you for your honesty. You inspire me to keep on moving forward in this life of being a Doctor + Mom.

  • Reply Bethany March 10, 2019 at 7:01 pm

    " it’s okay to do what I want, even if it doesn’t fit some cultural narrative or even make rational sense." YES!! I’ve been meaning to drop you a comment forever because I have probably left a slew of comments on your past posts regarding the 3rd kid decision… well after months, years of being unable to rationalize the decision to have a 3rd, we decided to do it anyway, because it’s what we wanted.

    Thank you again for sharing your life, I’d have probably never entered the world of working-mom-of-3 so confidently if I didn’t have you and Laura as my "virtual friends" via your blogs and the BOBW podcast.

  • Reply Lee March 10, 2019 at 7:01 pm

    Amen, sister! Honestly I feel like this is a good philosophy for my mom life, too, and mine are 14 and 10! Enjoy it. Happy new month!

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