entering August and feeling okay

August 1, 2018

It’s August.


G will turn 8 months in 11 days.  We will go on our first real family vacation since June of last year — our first as a family of 5!  Annabel will enter 1st grade.  Cameron will start his last year of preschool (pre-K).  And I will really try to forgive myself for having a tough year.

I posted the photo / caption above on Instagram yesterday (I’m @the_shubox) and it felt somewhat cathartic.  I am not doing it all.  I am doing what I can, and I am continually prioritizing and making choices.  This is something that everyone does all the time, but it has a unique set of challenges in my current baby-centric season.
I have several aspects of life on hold because of Genevieve, and I have concluded:
a) it’s temporary (oh so temporary!  Did I mention that it’s August already!?  Didn’t we just start 2018?!)
b) it’s worth it, because it’s what I want
c) it’s okay to do what I want, even if it doesn’t fit some cultural narrative or even make rational sense.
I am doing plenty (going to work, parenting 3 children, nursing G, exercising sometimes, reading sometimes, seeing friends sometimes, etc), and the things that are not happening as much right now — honestly, they can wait. I’m going to skip October’s conference (I’ll have two work conferences to enjoy in 2019!).  I’m going to forgive myself for not putting as much energy into side endeavors (mostly writing goals) for now.  I’m going to go to bed early more often, and I’m going to try to take one night/week entirely off from Big Kid Bedtime (thank you Josh).  I’m not going to worry about whether or not I am ‘progressing’ in my workouts (hello, Upholder tightening) — if I’m doing something active most days, that is great.
There is a lot to look forward to in the coming months, and I will miss the experiences if I’m too focused on looking down at what I’m not doing.
Happy August.  Here’s to a full month.