5 on a Friday

February 8, 2019

1    Today is the first day in quite some time that G has not been up making noise at 5 am. Her morning habits are the only thing about her that I’d like to change. She is now walking, saying many words, and is just entirely delightful. Just not at 5 am, (which I feel is MY time on the weekdays and sleep-catch-up on weekends!). Her word for Annabel is “Bah-Bi.” She is probably the most independent of the 3 at this age (which makes sense) but also would happily be held for 24 hours/day if that were an option.


2 I very much appreciate your comments on yesterday’s post! Many things to ponder and excellent points made. I do not want to value money over time, but I also don’t want to stick with a given situation forever just because at one point it made the most sense.

I think that to start with, I need to work on changing the call ratio (for 2020; our group does the calendar an entire year at a time, and I don’t want to mess with what is already there) and really take a deep dive into whether I am using my time at home the way I want to.

3 Shows I want to watch, but currently don’t: the last season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Sex Education. It seems that there is only room for one show at a time in my life right now. Josh and I watch This is Us together each week, and that’s about it. It’s kind of funny that TV has really come into its own at a time when I seem to be rejecting it in favor of reading & other things. What other amazing shows am I missing out on?

4 Helicopter parenting. Apparently it “works”, or at least leads to higher test scores. That said, it sounds like this sweeping decree was made without any truly rigorous evidence; even they noted that “Dr. Doepke and Dr. Zilibotti can’t prove causality (to do that, you’d have to randomly assign parenting styles to different families).”

I am not sure I like the term “helicopter parent” to begin with — what does that even mean? There is definitely a line between providing support and opportunities for your child and strong-arming them through life (arguing about grades, forcing them to pursue activities that they aren’t into, etc). That said, as A&C get older, I find myself becoming more anxious about whether we are doing things ‘right’. The families I know that send their children to private school seem convinced that this is worth it; same with those who enroll their kids into sports teams requiring a whole bunch of travel & family commitment.

Right now, we are doing neither of these things. The kids are only in one activity right now: piano. I do make them practice for about 10 minutes/day (well, 5 for Cameron, he only knows “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and “Are You Sleeping”). I would happily put them in more things, but A is taking her time adjusting to the different schoolwork and I just sense that their lives are full enough already with all the changes this year. In the fall, I will likely add one thing for each kid.

I am the first to argue with the idea that parenting is ‘harder’ once your kids are older. NOTHING is physically harder than the 100% presence during waking hours that you need for infants and toddlers! But I will admit it gets more uncertain and complex. (Okay, that was quite a digression on this list!)

5 Black pants update! I HAVE all of the black pants. I know which ones need to go back, for the most part. I just need to take pix and report my findings, since I know there was at least some interest. Major takeaways for me: a) sizing is inconsistent even when you are careful about reading size charts, and b) ordering a whole bunch of the same thing from different companies is a nice way to comparison shop from home (after all, I can return them all to the post office with one trip!). I may try this with bathing suits next (our much-awaited Disney cruise is coming up in 1.5 months!).