WBR Day 10: Hopefully Good Enough

December 30, 2019

Yesterday was one of those survival-mode kinds of days. I didn’t complete my workout or meditation. I felt guilty that I needed to lie down during G’s nap rather than have quality time with the big kids. They watched something, possibly Spiderman. I am not even sure.

(But really, I needed to lie down. And read and nap and not be caregiving for those 2 precious hours. And I’m probably going to need the same thing today.)

I hope A & C do not look back and feel shortchanged. In reading this, I wonder if I should have put them in camp, which would have made this a non-issue. BUT, they did have a relatively active morning (friend/playdate @ YAA).

Today will likely include:

  • Either park or Museum of Discovery and Science (depending on weather)
  • Another nap because I was up way too early stressing about various things
  • Babysitter tonight. For a much-needed night off.

In other news, I think my phone just broke. (It won’t change.) (#*$&@#.

In MUCH happier news, look who came a little early!! So exciting!!

17 Comments

  • Reply Sara B. December 30, 2019 at 6:09 am

    Youโ€™re getting there. One day at a time.

    Your phone probably just has lint in the charging port. Spray air, a small pik, or the Apple store (iPhone?) can usually remove it.

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger December 31, 2019 at 10:21 am

      Somehow some chargers seem to work and others don’t. But you may be right that it’s just a mechanical issue! I’m hoping anyway . . .

  • Reply Marthe December 30, 2019 at 7:02 am

    You’re doing great! Please take care of yourself, it’s the best example you can give your kids.

  • Reply Dawn December 30, 2019 at 10:12 am

    I feel certain your kids are not going to remember this as a negative in their life. Give yourself some grace and try to lean into it๐Ÿค— Iโ€™m the same way although I have 14 yr olds who have probably had way too much screen time this break but I try to rationalize it by the reality that school is so much harder academically and socially than it ever was for me so I want to give them that downtime before it starts back up in another week๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Reply acdalal December 30, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    Give yourself some grace! Parenting solo is HARD work. There is so much pressure for us to fill holiday times and school breaks with All The Things, but honestly, the kids probably need a break and some downtime, too. You’re doing awesome!

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger December 31, 2019 at 10:19 am

      Thank you!!!

  • Reply Rachel December 30, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    I think sometimes kids like to just be with us even if they’re a bit bored. I remember feeling that way often in summers, just happy to be with my parents puttering around the house even if I was constantly saying I was bored lol you’re doing amazing. Hang in there!! Thank you for being honest about how hard it is. People lpve to sugar coat these times and it’s not like you love your children any less if you admit out loud that the days are long and often boring and tiring

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger December 31, 2019 at 10:19 am

      Thanks so much Rachel!!!

  • Reply Kelsey December 30, 2019 at 3:15 pm

    I think you’re doing a great job keeping busy and taking as much time for yourself as you can fit in — managing three kids solo would be very depleting! (I can only speak to managing two and I definitely find that challenging!).

    I’d love to hear more about the logistics of Josh’s job sometime. Since I’m pretty unfamiliar with how doctor/hospital schedules work it would be interesting to know more about how much the two of your can coordinate schedules. And also if he’s taking on additional leadership/responsibilities like you have been or just general career trajectory. I’m always fascinating by other professions and how couples/families are managing the demands and aspirations.

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger December 31, 2019 at 10:18 am

      Josh is a vascular surgeon – no additional leadership or ‘bonus’ jobs as of now, esp since he just joined the healthcare system (same one I am in!) about a year ago. His hours are just long. He is on call 33% of the time – basically any phone call or emergency he has to answer and deal with. Some nights he does not get woken up; other nights he does. He doesn’t have to go to the hospital often overnight but it can happen. When he is on call for the weekend, he generally needs to be there all day (8a – 6p). He also always has leftover notes to do when he leaves the hospital at ~6-7pm. His job is just a lot. It is well compensated luckily but he works very hard. My job is much closer to ~40 hrs/week with some projects that bleed over (for me, typically to early mornings not nights!) but definitely far fewer hours than he has. (And my compensation is definitely less but I think that’s fair both because his training was much harder and because my job is less hectic.)

  • Reply Megan December 30, 2019 at 5:02 pm

    I think we sometimes underestimate how much kids need downtime too- nothing wrong with a couple of weeks of Disney+ and chill for them either. Theyโ€™ll go back to school with way more fuel in their tank than they would if they went to lots of camp type stuff.

    Would you do a post about how you prep your planner for the new year? Iโ€™ve seen bits and pieces in other updates but would love to see all the details

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger December 31, 2019 at 10:15 am

      I will try to include more pictures ๐Ÿ™‚ I wish I could say I had some dedicated block of time to prep it, but it happens in bits and pieces, so my planner prep process is fairly haphazard! I do print out monthly calendars (2 to a page) and carry them around starting October or so, and then as January gets closer I transfer those dates into my actual planner ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Heather F. December 30, 2019 at 5:49 pm

    Just wanted to second the comment about kids needing downtime too! Looking back, some of my own favorite childhood vacation memories were also of just puttering around the house while my parents did whatever.

  • Reply Shruti December 31, 2019 at 3:04 am

    I had the same epiphany yesterday, that I need the rest…like NOW and I dropped everything to take a nap immediately. I was soo much more human and humane after just a 30min nap …
    So I say… you deserve it and you’ve earned it !!

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger December 31, 2019 at 10:13 am

      YES!! Sadly my nap yesterday was interrupted beyond belief but today is another day ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Erica Sparky January 5, 2020 at 7:20 pm

    I’m a little late but adding to the chorus – my kids looooove to be at home and bored, especially around the holidays so they can play with their toys. They need the downtime too, and the relaxed screen time rules, extra family movies, and time together just makes for good memories. We did go on a vacation (Puerto Rico!!!) for 5 days and that was a nice break from the home routine but they were sooo happy to come home. Looking back on my own childhood, I only remember the long boring winter breaks fondly.

    • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger January 6, 2020 at 5:37 am

      interestingly enough, so do I!!! A lot of babysitters club reading and Nintendo playing and it was pretty #$*&#$ sweet. Good point ๐Ÿ™‚

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