Maybe I should start writing posts like Trent Hamm’s mailbag editions. He certainly gets a lot of questions!
I did want to make an admission/declaration about our mornings. They are not amazing these days. Our nanny is now staying later, which helps in the early evening hours. Josh and I have been doing the school drop off most days, which is about a 50 minute process on a good day (leave house 7:20, park & scooter with A/C for drop off 7:40, walk back to car with G and drive to her school by 8:10, and then my workplace is about 20 minutes from her school).
It’s quite early and it’s fairly tight. Omitting the scooter isn’t any faster and leads to all 3 kids getting antsy in a very long carpool line, so we only do that when it’s raining (and the ONE day I deemed it too cold to walk — I think it was 40F and the kids do not own proper coats! #southfloridalife).
This all sounds fine BUT – it is such a struggle getting them out the door on time, and leaving late cascades into being late to drop off G –> more traffic –> me being late for work. On non-patient days it’s not terrible but if I have patients or an 8:30 meeting, itis untenable.
I wish I could say that we were all soft voices and calm smuggles in the morning. Instead it’s more of a drill sergeant-like situation! And mostly that role is mine. We wake the kids around 6:30 (which is often more like 6:40) and then they tend to dawdle through eating breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth and getting out the door, EVEN THOUGH everything is downstairs and very easily accessible to them. Sometimes G has a very poorly timed dirty diaper in there too (THE WORST).
I have started to take “breakfast orders” the night before because A & C will not answer me when I repeatedly ask them what they want in the mornings (not morning people, I guess). This sometimes helps but also sometimes backfires (“Ew I don’t want that, I changed my mind.”)
We usually make it out, and the walk outside is pleasant. But getting there is terrible! I am on a mission to improve things. Things we may try:
- playlist to help cue them better (ie, XYZ song comes on = need to leave)
- just going out the door without them (Josh’s suggestion) to see if they scramble & follow
- letting them be late for school and suffer consequences (not great b/c then I am late for work)
- we already give them a “score” for their morning behavior as part of our regular behavior chart, but in the moment they don’t really care enough
- just generally trying so so so hard to be more patient and less reactive (VERY HARD for me when I am in a time crunch and I’m sure they pick up on that!)
BAH. I welcome suggestions. Anyone else struggle getting out the door in a calm and positive manner?
Question from Amanda:
“Have you talked more about your parenting book group here or on the podcast? I’ve been looking but may have missed it. I think its a wonderful idea and am curious about trying to start one!”
Yes! I started a parenting book club ~2 years ago or so. Mostly I just invited several couples that I like / am friends with, and it has been a mixed success. We have definitely had membership dwindle but are currently seeking some new ones, and there are 6 of us (3 couples) who are definitely into it. We’ve read books about parenting and tech, about division of labor in households (that one was a little juicy!), about different discipline tactics, etc. We rotate meeting at each other’s houses, and the host provides food (often takeout or a mix of homemade/takeout) and is in charge of choosing the book. It’s a lot of fun and, if nothing else, ensures we get to hang out with friends on a regular basis!
I’m loving my “plan my TBR list ahead of time” method. I find it motivating and really haven’t read a bad book yet in 2020! I have at least 3.5 books to finish before Q2 hits, which is either March 23 or March 30 (depending whether it starts before or after spring break!). I think I can do it, since this pile looks quite tempting and juicy! Worst comes to worst, I do have several flights coming up (some long) which should be great catchup reading time . . .