Thank you all for the kind words on Tuesday’s post — it meant a lot and felt right to share her tribute in this space.
I wouldn’t say life feels normal right now, and I don’t think it will for quite some time. We will be grieving in different ways for a while. I’ve never lost someone this close to me and even after a long illness, it is really . . . a lot, plus of course I want to be there for Josh.
AND. Posting here has always been a balm. (20+ year old blogs don’t exist because the writer felt like she ‘had to’ do it, you know?)
So, here I am, with a few Friday updates about things much smaller than all of the above.
1 – Our family sustained fractures #6 and #7 since January 2025 last weekend – A was at gymnastics and had something flukey happen during a skill she’s done hundreds of times without issue (she punched the ground during an aerial). 2 fractures (finger + metacarpal), both in her right hand. Our family is singlehandedly keeping the local orthopedics division in business.
She received a great prognosis and may be out of her cast in as few as 4 weeks, so that was a big positive.
2- I (obviously) cancelled my SF trip. That makes 3 years in a row I didn’t go to my big meeting. I’m 100% at peace with it in this circumstances; I did work today but I only want to be with family this weekend. I could not have left. Apologies to anyone who was planning to meet up – I still believe it will happen someday! And I *might* try to go to ADA or Endo (other meetings) but PES is my favorite so maybe I’ll just wait for 2027.
3- I dropped at least one ball and sent G to school without lunch today– they usually have pizza on Fridays but there are random ones where they do not, and this was apparently one of those. I’m sure there was a reminder, and I just didn’t read it. (There are probably more dropped balls to come. It will be okay. Also, Josh was thankfully able to bring her lunch, but I was fully prepared to order Door Dash to the school if I had to.)
4- Kacey Musgraves has a new album, and I really like it a lot on first listen.
5- It was incredibly sad but still wonderful to see so many family members and old friends the past few days. It felt like half of Miami Beach came out to pay respects to Bebe, and it was beautiful. I cried and felt so sad, but also so grateful to be part of such an amazing family and community. It really emphasized the utmost importance of family and friends – something that was already brought into focus this month when I traveled up to Williamstown. I hope to keep all of this in the forefront going forward.
Oh, and I beat my prior Mini record (I think) of 0:14.
I hope everyone reading this has a great weekend. Expect some extra emotional content here for a bit – I hope that’s ok. ♥️
EDITED: I also have to mention that before everything happened, Josh ran an amazing marathon in Eugene and qualified (with huge ~10 min buffer) for Boston 2027. I already booked our hotel and can’t wait to spectate. WISH I could have done it with him; I’m not going to lie, there was a tiny bit of sadness (?wistfulness) that day for me. But mostly I’m just very very happy he achieved his goal AND that I’ll get to experience the spectacle of the race with him (and hang with my wonderful Boston friends) next year.
11 Comments
First time commenter — I came here to thank you for an insight from your book then saw the previous post. I’m so sorry. It sounds like you won the MIL lottery so the loss must be just as hard. Congrats to your husband — I live outside Boston and will start wishing for perfect conditions for next year.
As far as the ball dropping when you’re distressed — drop them, drop them all! They are so many people with no good reason to drop balls and they do it every day. I work with some of them! 🙂 Take care of yourself.
I’m only newish around here but it was lovely to get your update today after a very hard heavy week for you and your family. Grief has a way of being so very physically exhausting even when you are not necessarily doing much. It’s so very okay to drop the ball! A friend talked about grief and gratitude holding hands – I have found this to be true too, there is such beauty and richness when people come together in hard times. I’m so glad you are soaking in time with people.
While of course it hurts to lose someone, I’ve always loved funerals for getting to meet up with people. It’s always felt like the last gift from the person who left us.
Gah on the fractures! Congrats to Josh for his BQ!
Thinking of you and your family, Sarah. I read often, but don’t post often, and I echo others’ comments that it sounds like you won the MIL lottery.
She sounds like an incredible person and am so sorry for your loss ❤️ I feel similarly about my MIL; she’s so caring and treats all the daughter in-laws like her own daughters. I also realize I’m lucky since I know families can be complicated and there’s only so much you can do about other people’s behavior (wisdom my MIL shared with me – so freeing!)
Thinking of you, Josh, and your whole family. I’m so glad that so many people came to celebrate Bebe and honor her memory. Glad you are making space and being okay with changes to the schedule, dropped balls, and grieving with your family.
I skipped my big meeting this year because I was out of med-education funds this year and didn’t want to pay out of pocket for it, and it turned out it was the best thing because both my parents got hospitalized, my mom is transitioning to long term nursing care, and I needed semi-urgent surgery (saga not over yet). I did go to work on Weds and talked to my colleagues about all that has been happening, and one of them — her father just passed, and the other — his father is about to pass and his step-mom is delulu about how she’s going to take care of herself after open heart surgery. So it seems we are all going through it right now! Middle age suuuuuucks. However next year the meeting will happen again, so I will try to go then, and maybe all this bullcrap will be behind me.
GOOD FOR YOU for not beating yourself up over the dropped balls. So sorry about A’s hand. Injuries can be so frustrating! Wondering what your kids plans are for the summer this year since I haven’t heard you talk about it much yet? And congrats to Josh for his BQ! I know it must be bittersweet for you, but it is still such an accomplishment. *hugs*
I am so sorry to her about your parents and YOUR medical stuff – ugh that sounds incredibly painful and frustrating. I hope things improve soon. Yes, it’s a HARD PHASE. Summer – nothing earth shattering, A doing geometry + gymnastics and other kids lots of day camps for sports etc. Thank you for the hugs! ♥️
Oh my goodness, TWO fractures. Eeks. Poor A, though it sounds like she is taking it all in stride. Was this the first since her break when you were up in Nova Scotia?
Continued hugs during this tough time. And thanks for the music rec; I always check out what you mention loving and I didn’t know KM had a new album out.
first one was Jan ’25, second was the Nova Scotia one, third one was this one!
Congrats to Josh! That is a massive margin. I am so impressed. I can see how it’s bittersweet since you were on track to experience the race with him. And poor A. Yikes gymnastics seems like a high-injury sport! I hope she heals quickly.
I am glad you’ve been surrounded by love as you grieve the loss of Bebe. That is one silver lining to losing someone – you tend to see so many people and that can be uplifting.
So much here. A’s fractured fingers, your cancelled trip (obviously), and Josh’s marathon!!! All this on top of grieving. It really does take a long time for things to feel normal again. Someone gave me this advice once, and it’s really true- you don’t get over it, but you get used to it. Eventually.
Huge congrats to Josh!!! Yes, sad that you couldn’t have run with him. BUT- you get to spectate Boston!!! That’s exciting- I’ve never done that in person (watched the race on TV, obviously).