i’ve been having way too much angst these days for my tastes. career angst (always present, but varies on how much and how serious), kaplan angst, wedding angst, and even mosquito-bite angst (how DARE they sting the bottom of my foot!? the horror!). what IS my problem these days? really, things are not that bad. let me elaborate . . .
career angst: yeah, it’s always waxing and waning (did i pick the right field? maybe i should have been a . . . writer? singer? food network star?), but lately it’s been on the rise. somehow, today i feel better about things, for no particular reason. things aren’t really working in lab, but maybe i’m finding it more interesting. plus, i realized that the things i’m whining about are fixable. not enough project? i’m sure i can find more to work on. not enough direction? there are people here to give me some. i’m NOT too dumb to be a graduate student (yes, i do actually think this all the time) and medical school did not suck all the creativity out of me (just some of it). everything is going to be okay.
kaplan angst: really, this is just because i’m doing too damn much of it. i’ll never make the mistake of signing up for this many classes again. also, i actually think i’ll make a good teacher trainer, even if i can’t teach physics to save my life.
wedding angst: i’m very excited to be married but the wedding part is a little scary and overwhelming. i’ve never had a ‘budget’ to deal with before. i’ve never had to worry about etiquette before (although i am a very reliable thank-you-note writer). i have to keep remembering that most of it is all supposed to be — gasp — FUN. i never ever want to be bridezilla.
mosquito-bite angst: i really need to remember to always wear bug repellent if i’m going to be outside, especially at night. my immune system (and my sister’s — genetics!) for some reason thinks that mosquito venom is TOXIC and BAD and must be attacked with an inflammatory response way beyond what is necessary. this sucks, and i have to be more vigilent about protecting myself if i don’t want to wake up every night at 3 am in a fit of scratching. ugh.
time for lunch . . . i’ve been coming home mid-day to eat with josh for the last month or so becuase he’s studying for boards (woohoo, just 9 days left – i’m almost as excited as i was for myself to be finished!) and i remember how lonely i got when i was studying. plus, it’s fun.