February 21, 2006

am i impulsive? really, am i?

usually when someone says something about you (such as: ‘my GOD you’re really bad at navigation!’ or ‘you have really small feet’ or ‘you’re hot!’), you already knew it. duh. it’s unusual that such comments make you think twice. but yesterday josh called me impulsive. and josh knows me quite well. and he said that not only was i impulsive, but i was spontaneous. never would i have associated either of those words with my list-lovin’, ritualistic, science-nerd self.

so am i?

– ok, true, i make quick decisions. i hate ruminating about anything — it’s why i take exams so quickly. when i am sure about something, i am SURE and i don’t WANT to make a god damn list (even though i really, really love lists) talking about pros and cons. i just know what i want. (and i know i might be wrong, but i’ll deal with that later).

– but there are some things i’m really really not impulsive about. i never decide ‘hey, i don’t feel like running my long run today! let’s just forget it!’ or ‘hey, i don’t think i’ll go into lab!’. i plan and i get really annoyed when i can’t execute those plans. which does not seem all that spontaneous, to me.

– but at the same time i’ll do things like buy a mac after years of saying how i hated them, or buy $170 jeans when i’m poor. (relax, i only did that once, and i won’t again, at least until i’m less poor. and they’re worth it). i bought my wedding dress within an hour of trying it on.

i don’t know. shades of gray, i guess.

hey, does anyone know if there are any steep cliffs in durham? i think i might bungee jump after work.

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