it’s kroger, y’all

April 17, 2006

i always wondered whether other people looked at my groceries while i was shopping at kroger and made judgments about me. now i know the answer. josh and i went together to stock up on our kroger-staples. tonight, these included:

– organic individual mac ‘n’ cheese
– frozen ‘steam in bag’ vegetables (my new favorite thing ever)
– multiple organic burritos and vegetarian ‘pocket’ sandwiches
– a frozen organic pizza (our sunday night routine)
– snotty overpriced swiss yogurts
– kashi cereals
– skim milk
– orange juice
– hummus
– arnold ‘health nut’ bread (inspired by vickie)
– multiple power bars and clif bars
– toilet paper
– q-tips
– bananas

note that there is ZERO fresh produce on this list. this is because kroger’s produce almost always sucks, and i have been burned enough times (the siren call of the sweet-smelling-but-rotting-inside-peaches, for example) that now i exclusively buy anything without-a-wrapper at whole foods. anyway, while in line . . .

rather large harried-looking lady (rlhl): ohh, i remember when i used to eat like that; i wish i still did.

me: but . . all i got are prepackaged things. i’m just lazy. (i didn’t want to say in front of the cashier and this woman that i only buy produce at whole foods, for obvious reasons).

cashier: i remember when i was that small! (accusingly) you don’t have kids, do you?

rlhl: of course she doesn’t have kids! look at her groceries!

cashier: yeah, you’re right. you know, i have FOUR kids. i wish i could go home and rest.

me: (feeling very guilty for lack-of-four-kids, being small, and buying expensive snotty groceries) um . . . thank you?


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