commonalities & parallels
1. both feel insurmountably long at the start, but short in retrospect
2. mile 20 hill = complicated 3 AM admission –> feelings of just . . . why???
3. realization that survival is possible at mile 24 = prerounding at 6 am the postcall day
4. desperate staggering at mile 25 to maintain pace = 9 AM attempt to prove lack of stupidity/incompetance to the attending on rounds
5. both contain a significant degree of risk of exposure to body fluids such as blood, vomit, or worse.
6. both seem to leave me wanting additional chances just so that i can improve on my performance, DESPITE clearly memorable pain. i know — i don’t get it, either.
1. races are more predictable than call
2. for me, marathons are a solitary battle, while call has many elements of team effort, and the people around you make all the difference.
3. babies are way cuter than runners and typically less sweaty.
i must say that i actually think i am going to love this rotation despite the unavoidable sleep deprivation. in fact, my apparent enthusiasm and excitement for it all is scaring me a little — HOW am i going to make this whole career decision? i really need one of these sub-Is to suck and be miserable so that i have a clear default career path. i have done such a good job ruling everything else out, either due to a) personal deficits or b) ambivalence/distaste:
all surgical fields, anesthesia: too procedural, among other problems
derm: too one-dimensional
ER: too rushed
ob/gyn: too rushed and too messy
optho: too weird
rad/onc: too hopeless
neuro: too hopeless and too weird
medicine: too many old people with trashed bodies and minds
family practice: same
radiology & path: too visual
anything else i forgot: either too boring (or else why would i forget it?) or too obscure.
if i could just add one more ‘too’ to psych or peds, this would be much easier. i suppose this is the final elimination round. i hope i win.
in other news, let’s take bets on how long it takes me to get sick from all these kids. i say 10 days.