morning, afternoon, night . . . it’s all the same to me. my body clock is definitely starting to get confused. fortunately, there are only 3 more call nights left in my future for quite some time.
my latest 30 hour adventure was a mixed picture — i ended up admitting a very interesting case, but ‘interesting’ in the PICU often means ‘heartbreakingly sad’ as well, and this one was no exception. plus, of course, i didn’t sleep, and there is not enough positivity in the world to mask the fact that it just SUCKS to stay awake that long, and i suck AT it. gah.
the PICU really is a hard place, and i still struggle there on a daily basis. sometimes i think i tell myself it’s the hours when it’s really the pain of watching children get inexplicably ill and suffer fates that they don’t deserve. it’s less painful that way.
off to run (first marathon training run of the cycle!!) and to think about this, and then to pass out.