can’t complain

July 5, 2009

an uneventful fourth
after a half-day at work today, i hit the gym and then headed over to a friend’s for a brief stint BBQing by the pool. then i promptly headed home to pass out, waking up just a few minutes only because josh called me to say that the kidney transplant the had just done was over and that he would be home . . . eventually.

i feel like a sleepy, sweaty mess, but i have high hopes that a long night of sleep will be curative! big plans for the rest of my holiday include throwing in a load of laundry and curling up in bed with a book. celebrating my own personal independence, i suppose. without the fireworks.

to complain or not to complain
i think i complain too much. venting is one thing, but putting everything in a negative light, getting all up-in-arms about happenings in the hospital, and ranting about my schedule to anyone who will listen is another. i came across a mention of this book on the zenhabits site and the concept is interesting.
though potentially a little too preachy and extreme for me (see? i’m complaining already!), i think i could lay off a little bit on the whining about work and my lifestyle this month and fatigue. it is not going to make me feel better and i know no one wants to hear it, anyway — i signed up for this, after all.

so my goal is to chillax a little and experiment with what it might be like to be complaint-free. 21 days sounds a bit daunting, so i’ll start with 7. feel free to call me out on any on-line grousing. i might not be able to turn it off completely, but at least i’ll be more aware.

balance and surgery
yesterday susan asked, “Just wondering…how does Josh handle the resident life? Same as you, keeping up with hobbies and everything?”

unfortunately, no, not really. i know he wishes he had more time to do things like run, but his schedule and the structure of his residency is definitely worse than mine. most of the time i do a lot of taking care of him/our household in addition to trying to have some semblance of a life. someday i hope he will be able to take it a little bit easier . . .


  • Reply Susan March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    I think we&#39re all guilty of complaining a bit too much. It&#39s all I hear all day from patients, nurses, my manager, doctors, etc. As a new employee, it really makes me wonder if it&#39s a good place to work. I&#39m totally guilty of complaining a lot myself, however. I need to cut down too.

    Thanks for answering my question! I asked since I&#39ve heard that surgery is a pretty tough residency. While I think it would be awesome to be a surgeon, I&#39m not sure I have that kind of commitment in me, so major props to Josh!

  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    Why complain so much anyway. You chose medicine, you chose peds. You chose to marry a surgeon.
    Are you unhappy with any of these decisions?

  • Reply Sarah Hart-Unger March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    susan: me too. i think that all the negativity (from myself, included) can have an effect on my overall mood. so i&#39ll work on cutting down!

    anonymous: well, that&#39s pretty much what i was trying to say with this post! after all, i said, "i signed up for this!". so i am going to work on remembering that when i open my mouth (or my laptop) to whine.

    as to your question, i am not unhappy with any those decisions — especially those regarding marriage (i may miss him sometimes, but i love the time we spend together and . . . him in general!). sometimes i do wish i had picked a career that did not require overnights/painful hours, but i think that eventually i will be able to tailor my job to be just what i want it to be. so in the long run, that will work out, too.

  • Reply Anonymous March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm


    I think that its great that you are trying to improve in this way. One day I had a mini epiphony (sp?) that has helped me since. I was under a bunch of crushing deadlines, had a sick child and another child who needed my &#39help&#39 with a school project. All of a sudden a thought popped in my mind, &#39hey, its like a long run.&#39 Suddenly I knew what to do. For a while you hit your stride, then there are some very rough spots and then there are some excruciating spots and it is one foot in front of the other. Anyway, when I&#39m in those difficult moments, I try to visualize the long run and the ultimate satisfaction I feel when I have completed it.

  • Reply atilla March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    I really don&#39t want to get preachy BUT #1 you better love what you do as a career

    #2 you are not training to be a resident and neither is Joshua

    #3 you do the same amount of work when you complain (even silently) as you do when you you are happy about your work so I guess the Zen solution and usually mine is to be happy

    My guess is that you know all this and are already doing it

  • Reply Kristin March 10, 2019 at 7:29 pm

    Whoa, negative nancies here in the comment section! 😉

    I am the #1 complainer and I KNOW that I&#39m doing it and that I need to stop. I actually was thinking last night about how blessed I really am and how I should enjoy doing what is put in front of me, no matter how crappy I think it is.

    I think we all complain about things every now and again and its good to step back and evaluate our actions.

    I&#39m gonna join you on the complaint free route!

  • Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.