revelation

July 14, 2009

choices
as much as i might wish for unlimited spans of time to fit in everything that i want to, i am realizing that there are limits. a big D-to-the-UH to most residents (especially those this far along in training), but understanding this and actually accepting it is hard for me. however, it’s necessary, because only then can i stop beating myself up for not fitting in everything. and that alone improves quality of life by a large margin.

if i graphed it out hour by hour (and while this is something i would totally do, but just don’t have time for right now!), i would see that the following list of ‘requirements’

☑ working 70-80 hours/week
☑ getting to work and back
☑ maintaining basic level of household liveability
☑ cooking martha-quality dinners most nights
☑ running 20-30 miles + cross & strength training
☑ reading for work
☑ blogging!
☑ sleeping enough to not be out-of-my-mind tired
☑ spending some time to be with my husband, and having some time for friends as well

. . . does not fit into the 168 hours that comprises a week.

this is not a complaint; this is just reality. accepting that there are going to have to be choices and sacrifices is a part of life — i guess i am just late in figuring this out. after all, there are residents with children who seem to be pretty happy and balanced, and i know that they must have to do some pretty heavy prioritizing. but not doing everything 100% of the time doesn’t have to mean fail.

i love to run and do not want to give it up. i also love writing this blog, so ghost world isn’t going anywhere! reading is something that i really DO need to be doing for work, so i can’t scratch that off of the list. and sleep is essential!

but on a day-to-day basis, choices have to be made. last night i ditched martha in favor of takeout pizza & salad, and you know what? we survived (and it was pretty good, too). i was able to sleep 8 hours (yay!) and feel ready to start my call day with an AM run.

more than trying to cram everything in (except perhaps for sleep), this is balance, and it’s a lot nicer to accept reality than to always be striving for some predetermined idea of perfection. i think i finally get that now. remind me later if i forget.

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7.13.09

workout: 5 miles with 10 x 400m intervals — interval paces between 7:15/mi – 7:45/mi, recoveries between 9:00 – 11:00/mi. i’ll spare the specifics because i want to head out on today’s run!

reading: none because my brain was fried from taking the in-service exam all day!

doin’ time: none, as the above indicates. i’m only sad that i don’t have a lovely picture for today’s post!