more green . . .
except i’m done with $ (for now). instead, i wanted to address something else that is often suggested by the emerald shade:
and that is envy.
[allie, that graphic was just for you!]
specifically, virtual-envy, if you will. i was reading a few really popular blogs this morning and noticed that i was feeling these little nagging pangs of jealousy as i read about new book deals, earning a full salary from one’s posts, and hearing amazing numbers like one million views/month (let’s just say i’m not sure if this blog has collected a million views EVER in its 6 year lifespan).
the thing is, i have absolutely no personal issues with these successful women — actually, i truly like and respect the ones i have met in real life! but i think it’s only natural to wonder (especially as someone doing this for quite a long time) what i could be doing better to grow my readership and turn blogging into more of a part-time career. or, put in a more negative light, what am i doing wrong that i haven’t “gotten anywhere” after all this time?
. . . AAAAAAAAAND then i snap back to reality and remember that i already have a more than full-time job in my own little corner of the medical field; a job that i truly love! from this angle, it might look glamorous to fly out to conference after conference, eating delicious treats while smiling for the camera, but i’m far too much of a homebody (and not nearly photogenic enough) for that to make me happy for long.
my reality is less glamorous, but it is much more ‘me.’ and i think i can let the green hue fade to a prettier blue now. tiffany-blue, perhaps. 
don’t worry, that’s not a shopping reference — i just like the color!
i hope i am not offending anyone with this post; i just wanted to acknowledge these thoughts. i think that following blogs can be a wonderful and fun experience, but also dangerous in that you see just this little slice of someone’s life — and it’s often a more perfect picture than what is really there. NOT that i blame anyone for this; who wants to write about legal issues or little marital snits? (and who really wants to read about those things, anyway?)
the next time i notice these wistful pangs, i will remember that no one is holding a gun to my head and forcing me to train as a pediatric endocrinologist (that would be random, huh?). while it may not come with all that much fame & fortune, it is definitely as rewarding and interesting, and i feel lucky to have gotten where i am.
i also feel incredibly lucky to have the readers (and loyal commenters!) that i have. you all often provide substance in your insights that is often worth more than a million hits put together!
[i am still holding out for the book deal, though.]
just some food for thought on a thursday. has anyone had similar thoughts? if you are a blogger, do you have aspirations of doing so professionally? and if you are a publisher, can i have a book deal?
(sorry, couldn’t help it.)
happy thursday! the week is flying.
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8.4.10
workout: 5 miles on the TM (i had to stop and answer two pages, but it wasn’t TOO bad). 2 miles were at 8:00/mi pace, the rest was 8:35 to 9:13.
almost vegan: this polenta casserole from ED & BV was vegan UNTIL i sprinkled some jalopeno cheddar on top.
real cheese >>> fake cheese. i just couldn’t help it! the polenta crust got sort of fluffy and crunchy in the oven and was absolutely delicious. i’m looking forward to leftovers tonight!
reading: 15 PREP questions. i’m still on track with my study plan!
6 Comments
whew i treated myself to a midday glance at the comments and you are all so wise (as usual!). kristin, your comment definitely made me think a lot too (good point about the narcissism . . . although i REALLY hope i don't come out too much like that!) and i definitely didn't see it as negative — at all!
also, i totally do feel lucky to have the career i do . . . i suppose it's part of the 'wanting it all' syndrome that impacts so many women especially these days.
more later but just had to thank you all for the insight.
Great post.. so honest and so true. It was ironic to me because I am not a doctor although I continue to wish and think about going that route so I so thoroughly look forward to reading your blog each morning to hear what the life of a doctor actually is about. Your blog continues to be one of my favorites. It seems so honest, real, and always interesting!
I can relate so much to this post. I get those same pangs of envy when I read other blogs. I mean, I'm not really successful in any way–yet. I just have to remember that someday my hard work will pay off.
I know what you mean in terms of being jealous of other people's successes. There must be something to learn from our jealousy even if means just taking a step back and appreciating where we are in life. Keep up the good work, doc! 🙂
not on topic at all:
prescient posting of the wyclef video. did you see he's running for president of haiti?
I don't get jealous reading blogs. I do, however, tend to get feelings of guilt. Feelings that I'm not eating well enough, exercising enough, working hard enough.
I try to be mindful of this comparison/guilt trap and work towards not comparing myself with others. It's hard but I try to use other blogs (like yours!) as inspiration to lead a healthier lifestyle.