i’ve been wanting to write about this for a while — in fact, it comes to mind almost every time i head out for a run these days at paces i hadn’t even considered since i began training “for real” back in 2005.
i miss this.
you can read the story of how i began running, ran 4 marathons, and got faster here. but right now, it seems crazy to me that i am that same person who ran 26.2 consecutive miles at 8:42/mi. now, i am far slower than that on my 30 minute morning runs. and it feels harder.
and to be honest: sometimes it just sucks.
nearly every time i read a version of this story [ie, a female who drastically cut back on running and is only running ‘for fun’ now], a pregnancy announcement seems to follow 2 months later. except, it seems, for me. of course, my reasons for slowing down are similar, but i can’t seem to get my punchline/happy ending no matter how slowly i chase it.
oh kara, you make it all look so easy . . .
i miss the feeling of nearly effortlessly ticking off miles on a saturday morning. i miss creating elaborate training plans and putting them into my planner. i miss race day mornings and yes — even tempo workouts. i miss the confidence that came with knowing that “runner” was a part of my identity. but i know that going back there is not an option for me right now.
so: it’s short/slow jaunts and yoga to fill the void. and hey, more time for writing, baking, and sleeping in on sunday mornings! and i WILL be back.
back to work!
all right, pity party is over . . . it’s back to work today after quite a long hiatus! i am feeling pretty refreshed after my solid night of sleep last night [in part, thanks to the retreat!].
for a number of reasons, june is going to be quite a challenging month on the wards. i had been trying to keep work out of my evenings and weekends [except while on call, of course!], but i will accept that this is unlikely to be reality for this month.
however: it’s only a month!
my wards mantra: ONE task at a time. little by little, it will all get done.
workout: ~35 minutes around duke‘s east campus. my first run from out the door of our apartment! i don’t have my route perfected yet, but it will come together! it was hot but i survived.
christening the kitchen