nearly a month ago, i decided to take a week off from blogging. i was feeling sad and sorry for myself, and disconnecting from the online world seemed like the right thing to do. i also decided not to put any pressure on myself that week: no worrying about getting workouts in or organizing social plans.
i basically sat around for a week and stewed in my own juices. and in the end?
it didn’t really work. i mean, i was ready to resume writing at the end of my 7-day hiatus, but on a day-to-day basis doing less did not lead to me feeling any happier. i am sure gretchen rubin probably would have known better, and so did an astute commenter:
loyal reader [not my assessment, that was her pseudonym] wrote:
I hope that you feel better and that this break is what you need. I want to offer a word of caution though. Sometimes doing less leads to more dysphoric mood, especially if the activities were ones that are central to your identity. One of the primary treatments for depression is behavioral activation. You appear to be an amazing at engaging numerous strategies for coping but sometimes its not possible to do it by oneself. You may wish to consider more professional help. I hope you take this in the way its intended as a voice of caring and concern.
now, for a number of reasons, i am feeling myself again trending towards negativity. however, this time i do not plan on a similar approach. instead, i am going to try to seek out MORE.
✰ more projects [yes, cook-throughs count!]
✰ more outings. more social life. more quality time with friends + family
✰ more art, in the form of books/movies/music
✰ more yoga + working on meditation/mindfulness
✰ more enjoying of the free time / resources we have now. i have not scheduled vacation for this year because i was ‘saving’ it in case of needing it for maternity leave . . . but i think that is the wrong approach. i can always change it, after all. and i kind of want to take this trip next year:
i mean, it could even be considered a babymoon if that’s how the timing works out!
and yes, i am considering seeing a therapist at the fertility clinic [the fact that they have one in-house should reassure me i am far from alone in needing some help dealing with this issue].
so: my progesterone may be zero, but my mojo is still there. um, happy friday?
♥ how keeping a log kept me sane, from the lovely angeliki
♥ 16 ways to find personal rest by tsh oxenreider, the author of organized simplicity
♥ one of my favorite bloggers headed out yesterday to begin a 10 day Vipassana retreat! check out her post for details as well as a recap of the retreat from her mother’s perspective
workout: nada. guess what? no workouts = horrible mood. time to fix that.
lazy leftovers for dinner may taste good
but are bad for my soul when eaten too many nights in a row. seriously.
What an insightful comment by "loyal reader." I have the tendency to "do less" when I’m in a foul mood and sometimes that’s to my own detriment. Of course, doing too much can put me in that foul mood. As you would say – Balance! 🙂
Management of inner peacefulness in times of stress is relative. EVeryone responds differently, I hope you find your groove and the secret to inner calm.
as strange as this may sound since I don’t know you IRL, I am rooting for you and Josh.
As one who has seen many a therapist and benefitted greatly from their assistance, I hope that you find solace in the process.