off my chest

July 5, 2011

good morning
while the academic year officially started on friday, today feels more like the REAL beginning. i will be in lab today — and almost every weekday, with the exception of a few clinics — until november.

part of me is so sad to leave the clinical side [temporarily] behind!

. . . and the other half is super-excited NOT to be signing onto the pager at 8 am.

a weird mix of emotions, and yet another transition. i should be used to these by now, but it never seems to get much easier! hopefully, i will feel at home in my new research routine soon enough.

retreating . . .
so, uhhh — something has been weighing on me.

really, i just want to apologize to you all! i really had big plans for the retreat and — like it or not — i failed. attempting such a project in the midst of a move was probably mistake #1, and asserting that i had the expertise to lead the masses in a psychic makeover [or something like that] was #2.

i began really excited and with lots of share, but quickly began to feel drained and sort of fake as i wrote out each post. who am i to tell others what the secrets to life are!? how did i become qualified to discuss meditation and presence — as someone who still stresses over little things, zones out at inopportune moments, and sometimes falls asleep in shavasana?

i know how to write about the things i love, lessons i learn, and the areas i still want to work on. i am happy to share the ins and outs of menu planning, my own adventures in time management, where to find awesome stationery, and long-distance running tips.

but i don’t think that i have discovered The Secrets To Life, or anything. and therefore, i just don’t feel ready to write about you. so for now, i’m going to have to leave that to more experienced leaders, like leo and gretchen.

hope you’ll all forgive me! have a wonderful beginning to the week!!

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