and i stand by my choice
i love experience life magazine. admittedly, sometimes the more medical articles rub me the wrong way [not going to get into that now!], but in general i find it to be an inspiring and fun gym read. there are numerous ‘life philosophy’ pieces in each issue in addition to the diet + fitness advice you’d expect from any health-related magazine, and these articles often make me stop and think mid-stride on the elliptical or treadmill.
but this one? <– available online
. . . just left me incensed.
while i do agree with the author that doing EVERYTHING apart would be bad for any relationship, i felt really disappointed that there was no value at all given to having partners spend time doing what they love — even if it means some time physically apart. and here’s my least-favorite quote:
“Infidelity dangers. Sharing the fun of leisure activities creates strong bonds and attractions between people, Harley points out. Building outside relationships in separate leisure spheres can threaten the partnership.”
ouch! so basically, every time i went to yoga — or sent josh off to a basketball game with someone who is not me — our relationship was under threat of security breach?
i don’t have 50 years of thriving relationship under my belt to prove my case, but we are pushing a decade. and it was a truly wonderful decade — by far the best one of my life! it was also a decade where on many occasions, i blogged and did baking projects while he played video games and watched football. of course, we also threw many dinner parties, planned/took fun trips, explored the local restaurant scene, watched movies and enjoyed running races together, but i believe that our time apart was important in addition to our time together — both for the health of our relationship and for us as individuals.
knowing that i can do the things i love [you know, when there’s time!] without having to answer to anyone is part of what makes being an adult particularly great. and i don’t believe i ever need to spend another 3 hours watching football to prove my love or save my marriage. instead i will enjoy making some fabulous superbowl snacks and then curl up with murakami while happy boyish shouts are emitted from the couch.
everyone’s happier that way. especially me.
thoughts on the article? do you agree or disagree with the original piece? do you and your significant other tend to do most things together, or do you also love your separate pursuits?
can’t win ’em all
in the recipe‘s defense, i didn’t have a lemon [subbed some white wine vinegar for some acid], was missing nutmeg, and used parsley instead of cilantro [because i’m one of those haters]. but i wasn’t really a fan of this dinner, other than my mom’s fennel-fig bread spread with some orange-rosemary marmalade as a totally random side: