round 2

February 5, 2012

it’s sunday
our apartment is livable again. the washing machine is whirring away. i am in typical planning mode:

and josh is home from the hospital, again.

yes, for those keeping track, this will mark the 3rd admission between the two of us over the past 1-month span. [and, lest you think we are crazy, these were the only 3 hospitalizations either of us have ever had, EVER.]

kind of ridiculous for two supposedly healthy individuals, huh?

bad break . . .
as some might have surmised from the radio silence over on this end, i have been a little stressed out this week. and everything came to a head on friday: josh had an ortho follow-up appointment and was having pain that was — well, way out of proportion to anything that seemed reasonable for his point in the recovery [about 1 week out from the injury]. literally, any tiny little movement was excruciating to him — things seemed worse than they did on post-op day 1.

both of us had concerns about what might be causing the increased agony [just simply more swelling? a DVT? compartment syndrome?], and we were glad he had the scheduled appointment that day.

as it turns out, the orthopedist was as surprised as we were about his pain level [which was clearly evident as the slightest maneuvers made him practically jump off of the exam table] and to make a long story short — he ended up getting admitted to rule out any of the above complications, for serial exams, and essentially for pain control with some heavy-duty IV medications.

failure / frustration
while this was not about me, i did NOT take the twist of events well. i realize it sounds incredibly petty, but as soon as all of the scary stuff was ruled out [no DVT — no compartment syndrome!] my wave of relief was followed by disappointment and self-pity. i started crying because i hadn’t had a weekend off and at home since 2012 began, and all i wanted was some rest and time to organize, get our lives together. i cried because this just wasn’t what i expected life to be like at 8 months pregnant, and probably because my hormones are RAGING. i cried because i felt completely overwhelmed, just in general. and finally, tears came because in a way, i felt like i had failed — as if perhaps my poor at-home nursing skills were why he was ending up bouncing back, hooked up to a dilaudid PCA.

taking control
the best decision i made was the choice to NOT stay in the hospital with him on friday night, but instead to catch up on some much-needed sleep at home while he drifted off peacefully on opioids and IV tylenol. i slept 10 hours, and after making sure he was okay, spent the next 5 hours at home cleaning and organizing. the sheets are all clean, our kitchen [sort of] sparkles, i can see my desk again:

. . . and i also starting asking for and accepting some help.

via facebook to start!
i decided that i WILL be hiring someone to help clean every ~2 weeks, at least for a little while. i asked my sister to help set up the nursery with me next weekend [she is excited!]. i asked our neighbor and close friend to help me get packages from the office and to help me fix our cranky IKEA bed [don’t ask]. i went into our savings account and took out enough to essentially cover this whole epic disaster so that i can stop thinking about the annoying financial piece of it. i even got in a quick workout before heading to the hospital — an extra half hour spent just on me.

and in the end . . .
i am feeling so much better today . . . and so is josh. they reworked his pain regimen, gave him STRICT activity limits [this was a battle we were fighting before, and may have led to hospitalization #2 . . .], and he is currently sitting up on the couch with his leg elevated happily watching superbowl predictions. perhaps some higher power is trying to REALLY prepare me for the challenges up ahead, but i think i’m ready now — enough is enough! i am fervently hoping this past weekend will be the last time either of us ends up on the WRONG side of the hospital bed — until i go into labor.

and with that, i am gong to attend to my list . . . have a wonderful sunday!

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