i really WAS feeling more at peace yesterday morning
but then . . .
weekly forecast as of this AM. an omen for this storm-phobic?
yesterday afternoon, i gave a research presentation in which i think i must have sweat a gallon [it’s very stressful to defend over 6 months’ worth of work to a group of scientists/attendings]. i survived — face flushed but bag of waters still intact — and was rewarded with what seemed like 824182 things to add to my work to-do list, including 2 grant applications that really need to be churned out before The Big Day. one of my bosses made some casual comment about working on something at home during my maternity leave and i almost imploded on the spot.
[not. doing. it. but i’ll just have to take the passive aggressive approach of . . . just not doing it!]
when 9:30 pm rolled around [yep: typical bedtime] i tried to go to sleep after reading about labor. but between bathroom breaks and trying [failing] to get into a comfortable position, all i did was lie there and think about was all of the THINGS TO DO, and also breastfeeding, and episiotomies, and trying to make it to day care pickup in time after grand rounds on mondays.
you know, everything. i think i slept 3 hours the entire night. and today is a hectic clinic day, with overbooks galore. i suppose perhaps it’s good practice . . . but it still wasn’t fun.
on the upside
the impatience that i was discussing yesterday seems to have disappeared overnight. i have now decided that i’d like our baby to stay in until 40 weeks so that i can finish with all of the things i am stressing about. [yes, i’m sure she’s paying a lot of attention to my preferences]. i’ve also decided that i am not accepting further additions to my to-do list.
at least it’s friday!