there’s only one first time

June 20, 2012

well, i survived
sorry to leave anyone hanging yesterday — both annabel and i did in fact survive our first day of day care.  actually, i’m pretty sure she didn’t mind one bit; however, i didn’t fare quite as well.  i put on my game face initially, fastidiously gathering supplies and trying to act oh-so-cool-and-pragmatic about the whole thing.  i arrived carrying several bags filled with diapers/blankets/bottles/etc, plus a. in her infant seat and felt accomplished that i had managed to make it out the door without any major omissions.

but then when i got there and it was actually time to drop her off — OMGGGG.  this part was much more difficult than anticipated!  it felt wrong on a primal level.  as in, i’m just supposed to leave my precious bundle in this room full of other babies and two adults i don’t know and just LEAVE HER THERE?

noooooooo . . . . .

[obviously yes, that is pretty much what day care is.]

even though the rational side of me remains convinced it’s the right choice for us, i felt guilty and sad and afraid as i slowly inched my way towards the door.  i fought back tears and lost the battle, but i think the very nice day care staff are used to these sorts of antics.  it did help that i saw 2 of my coworkers there just during drop-off — i know that the center we’re using is the best possible option, and everyone i’ve talked to has been happy with the care there.

ANYWAY.  i went home and was going to run, but i couldn’t even bring myself to do that and ended up face-planted on the bed, unable to do anything but nap [and pump].  i did make it to my dentist appointment, which was sort of the whole point of taking her to day care on monday in the first place.  bonus: no cavities!

so: to make a long story short, it wasn’t fun for me, but i survived.  and annabel did fine and drank 8 oz in just 3.5 hours.  i managed to maintain a zero-loss balance [pumped 8 oz that day between several sittings], but if she continues to go at that rate i’m in trouble.  ahh, one step at a time . . .

as a reward for my suffering, a. slept 6.5 hours straight on monday night.  i did not bring her yesterday, and she never made it more than 3 in a row [harumph].  a side effect of the stimulation?  or just more milk than she’s used to in the afternoon?  random occurrence?  time will tell . . .


6.18 + 6.19

6.18 workout — nada, other than aforementioned emotional struggles

6.18 dinner — i can see the future of our culinary life, and it might look a little like this:

feta/spinach chicken sausage, grilled zucchini

although to be honest, this wasn’t half bad. and josh didn’t mind . . .

6.19 workout — 4.35 mi in 40 minutes — 0.5 mi warmup at 10:00/mi, 3.5 miles at 8:57/mi, then cool down until the clock read 40 minutes.

6.19 dinner — salad + veg lasagna — i made this for us and brought over a meal for sue, too!  it was pretty decent but next time i’d use more pesto!


  • Reply oldmdgirl March 10, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    I cried too. It gets easier. And then they learn to wave bye bye. *sigh*

    Um…. I would disregard the above comment. If A wants 8oz in 3.5 hours at daycare, let her have it. You kept up, right? You’ll both adjust. She’s not going to get fat or forget how to nurse.

    Daycare is a LOT of stimulation. I know I mentioned this previously, but when Dylan started she would sack out for 10 hours in a row overnight sometimes. It was glorious. As she learns to sleep better there she may start waking up again. It’s a transition, and it sounds like you both are doing great.

    Yay to no cavities!

  • Reply Sharon March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    you will be okay…it was hard for me the first week or so, and then I got used to the idea. in fact, going back to work made me feel more independent again, and oddly, happy.

  • Reply Red Stethoscope March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    Glad everything was OK with daycare. Your meals always look amazing! I don’t have a baby or fellowship or anything and most of mine do NOT look like that! (Defrosted frozen meals anyone?)

  • Reply Katie March 10, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    My sister felt the same way when she took my nephew there the first time. He was around ten months but I don’t think that it matters how old your little one is when it comes to the first day at daycare.
    My nephew went straight into the room to play with the other kids and was really excited… and my sister was standing there almost crying.
    But it will get better with every day like the other comments said! And in the end my sister was really glad that he got used to the daycare so quickly.

  • Reply claire the rd March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    I had trouble leaving my dog at home – I have no idea how I’ll ever part with my child (someday). 🙂

  • Reply JT@The Faux Foodie March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    You did great!!!! I think it’s completely normal to feel that way. And it’s always surprising to find out that our children do better than we do!! One day at a time and things will get better.

  • Reply Jenny March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    Great job! I think daycare is wonderful for kids, and going back to work will be a nice break for you. The intellectual stimulation at work is what I missed the most when I was on maternity leave.

    When my daughter was 3 months old she refused to breastfeed due to severe reflux (we spent hundreds on lactation consultants who were unable to help us). I started pumping exclusively at that time, and was able to feed only breastmilk until 6 months, when I just couldn’t keep up with her demand. I started supplementing with formula at that time, and it was wonderful. It took the pressure off of me and I still felt good about providing my daughter with breastmilk. Formula is not poison, and I had a much more relaxed role as mom from thereon out, not to mention being able to spend quality time with my husband in bed.

  • Reply Hotpotatokate March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    I agree with Katie. It can be very difficult to bottle feed a breastfed baby, and they will often take more from the bottle than they would have taken from the breast. Partly that’s fine- it’s easier, so they pig out. But often (according to my reading) it CAN be because not everyone knows about proper bottle feeding technique. We fed Toby from a bottle for a day, and we were ASTOUNDED when he put away 220ml in one feeding, as we know from weighing he usually gets 120-150 from me. Then we did some learning and discovered we were basically forcefeeding him. I’ve seen people who SHOULD know better use the same bad technique and I’m worried about how we’ll deal with that when he goes to daycare. The other aspect of this is that if you’ve heated 5oz in a bottle, there’s a real incentive to get the baby to drink 5oz, which is absent with BFing. Definitely NOT accusing your daycare of forcefeeding A, but keep that sort of thing in mind when you’re worrying about pumping. Toby’s increased his intake recently, but I know my husband feeds him properly (starts with a smaller bottle, then adds more if he’s hungry, let’s Toby dictate the feeding, etc), and fortunately my 3 days/week with him and frequent pumping mean my supply is catching up.

    I’m really glad you got through the day without too much stress- onwards and upwards!

  • Reply Liz @ runbakerace March 10, 2019 at 7:42 pm

    I would have totally cried if I had to leave L at day care. I’m sure it gets easier every day but I have a problem leaving him with his grandma! hahaha. Mothers…So glad you got a nap in and she did well at daycare. How much longer till you have to return to work?

  • Reply Katie March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    8 oz in that short time frame seems like a lot. My mother in law watches my 3.5 month old and got me all hyped up about not having enough milk. Upon further research it seems breast fed babies will just take whatever is given to them and so sometimes a 3 oz bottle and a pacifier is what’s needed. I would review hunger cues with the daycare ladies and give smaller bottles. And for me, my little one reverse cycles, so she just waits to get most of her milk straight from me, which is goOd for both of us and she gets chubbier by the day so that helps with my anxiety:)

  • Reply running4cupcakes March 10, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    you are totally right – there is only one 1st time – thank goodness, right? You totally hit the nail on the head for exactly about how I feel about taking Luke to daycare in a few weeks. And I am not optimistic about it going any better than it went for you – I just hope to stop crying by the time I get to work! I hear it gets better – fingers crossed! And I know that it will be good for socialization, stimulation, exposure to germs, etc. But all of that, doesn’t make it any easier! Gosh, it’s tough being a Mom! 😉

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