1) i am soooooo tired. tired when i drive to work. tired when i come home. tired at work. tired when my alarm goes off in the morning. at 34 weeks preg maybe this is normal, but i really don’t remember this from last time. then again, i didn’t have the ‘second shift’ job that i currently have now.
to temper this fatigue [and . . . just because], i’ve skipped running for the past 5 days. if anything, i feel worse.
maybe i’m anemic [my compliance with prenatal vitamins has been . . . less than stellar, to say the least]. although i kind of don’t want to know because fear of iron [for GI reasons] is what made me negligent about the vitamins in the first place.*
2) i hate being tired. and it makes me feel unfocused and inefficient and just blahhhh.
mothers in medicine: the two kinds of mothers in medicine. awesome comments.
brittnie’s word for the year: intentional. this resonated with me!
5) i am filled with a rather crazy mixture of emotions, including:
a) motherly yearning to meet the new little one. in my mind, he looks just like a boy version of annabel, and i really couldn’t imagine anything cuter. i am longing to snuggle a little tiny baby. i am even — quite oddly — longing to breastfeed. although once i remember what newborn BFing is like — as opposed to the calm snuggly 11-month old version — i’ll probably laugh out loud at this one.
b) frenetic overthinking, trying to pre-determine how will i do this and that and this other thing when i have annabel AND a needy newborn. [i realize this is pretty much ridiculous, since i don’t know what the specific challenges will even BE** until i experience life as a mother of 2 for a while. but i can’t stop the wheels from turning . . .]
c) building excitement about the idea of NOT being pregnant anymore. regular clothes! not feeling like i’m lumbering around! [eventually.]
d) sheer TERROR/anxiety regarding what it will be like with 2 at once. especially at 6 pm on a call night when josh is nowhere in sight. ahhhghgh.
* doctors are the worst patients. it’s true. and, this is NOT an endorsement of not taking your prenatal vitamins. you should take them. i should have taken them. i did at least take them during the high-risk period for spinal cord defects [first tri]. the end.
** other than sleep deprivation, jealousy [from a.], multiple sore areas of the body, and more sleep deprivation.
2 additional items of business:
— anyone have any toddler parenting books to recommend? i am going to read love and logic [thank you d.!] but am curious as to what anyone has found useful. [or, not useful.] a. is a very VERY good kid but can be strong-willed, and i think this will probably be amplified by the arrival of #2. planning ahead 🙂
— in case you are wondering, the arctic vortex hit miami. it went all the way down to 48 [don’t worry, the high was still in the 60s]. and yes, people were wearing scarves and boots and things. it was cute.