1) i am still pregnant. about to hit the ‘new’ term definition of 38 weeks. i’m at the point where it’s hard to imagine that anyone needs to be more pregnant than i am right now. where i keep thinking there must have been a flaw somewhere in evolution to cause women to have to get this gigantic and uncomfortable.
hypothesis: it has to be somewhat terrible to make you actually LOOK FORWARD to the whole labor process and appreciate the end product that much more.
2) i am done with call until may!!!!! i’m still working [full clinic days until end of this week, then a lighter schedule through valentine’s day]. but NO MORE CALL. after spending 60% of the past 35 days tethered to my phone for work pages, this is so incredibly freeing. just yay.
3) we are ‘doing’ the nursery [ie, clearing out stuff, getting closet help from the container store, etc] this weekend. i think i’m officially nesting, because not having this area organized is just driving me crazy. in related news, annabel is obsessed with the ‘baby room’ and its intriguing contents, like her old bathtub, car seat, and bassinet.
yeah . . .
onto february . . .
clearly, this isn’t going to be an uneventful month. unless my OB lets me go >8 days overdue [unlikely], things are going to get crazy . . .at some point. but for now, i’m just trying to to stay out of countdown mode. i couldn’t help it while on call — it just felt so wrong and i was so tired that this frame of mind was unavoidable. but now things are more normal and i am ready to embrace now again.
my theme for the month is gratitude. i took some time during lunch today to really reflect upon january’s HP, and what went well/wrong/needs tweaking. i did well on some points and not-as-well on others, but in general i thought about my goals/life more, and i would consider that successful. anyway, i elected to choose some smaller goals for february — perhaps nothing life-changing, but things to help expand my outlook and make me conscious of my own attitude.
[which sometimes — admittedly — might need some work!]
so here they are:
5 gratitude goals:
[for the rest of february]
1. notice. when things are stressful i tend to focus a lot on the bad and not-at-all on the good. in the grand scheme of things, i have little to complain about. and so much to be thankful for! so i’d like to at least write down one thing each day — big or little — that i am grateful for/happy about. this certainly isn’t an original idea, but i think it will be helpful during this transitional time.
2. acknowledge. this one is directed at josh [hi babe]. i tend to complain a LOT about his work hours [and trust me: that is legit.] however, he is also an amazing father, loving husband, and all-around wonderful person. i need to acknowledge these things even when it’s not a ‘special’ day.
3. appreciate. this is sort of a holdover from the last month, but i want to continue to appreciate just a tiny fraction of the great resources available in our world today: books, music, music . . . even good tv. i will continue to try to take at least a small chunk of each day to enjoy these things and really absorb them.
4. reflect. this one is specific to annabel. i’ve done a lot of writing [and thinking, and complaining] about the challenges associated with toddlerhood: less-than-ideal sleep patterns, battles of will, etc. but i need to spend more time marveling on the beauty of such an innocent period of life. she is such a sweet girl and i am lucky to have the time together that i do with her. when i’m finding myself wishing i could flop on the couch after work with a glass of wine [haaaaa on both counts right now!] i need to remember that the toddler days are really so fleeting in the grand scheme of things.
and that i am lucky to have her, and even luckier that she is happy and thriving.
she has added “happy baby” to her yoga repertoire
5. remember. this is my only post-baby goal! i want to think about how INCREDIBLY fleeting that newborn period is, and yet how indelible those memories are. i want to bask in the joy of cuddling our new baby without dwelling on the future of what things will be like when . . . i know this won’t always be easy during those sleepless newborn nights, but there is definitely so much to soak up and appreciate during what will likely be the last round for me.