not fully there

May 31, 2015

I’m on call this week.  Whenever I’m on the pager, I feel like I’m never fully . . . anywhere.   While at work, between progress notes my mind wanders to what the kids are doing with Josh (and whether anyone is stressed out by my absence — not sure what I even want the answer to be!).  At home, I am constantly thinking about what is happening in the hospital: who needs transition orders, which labs are pending, whether I am doing the right thing with each patient.

It’s like in addition to decision fatigue, there’s attention fatigue.  Eventually I get so tired of all of the flitting back and forth that I just want to zone out, dive into mindless internet chatter (aka social media) and rest.

Anyway.  All of that is to say that uhhh  . . . I’m thankful that I’m only “on” 20% of the time.  And truthfully, I’ve had lovely patents this week and feel very confident that these distracted times feel very much worth it.  From a practical standpoint as well as an emotional one.

Several updates, all fueled by a general dissatisfaction with my current state of affairs:

1) I’m considering a whole30.  Can’t think of a compelling reason not to.

2) I’m officially sick of my phone.  I am really desperate to just get OFF of the thing.  I did really well with the moment app (to track minutes) for about a week, but then I fell off the wagon.  Getting on.

3) Currently having a renewed interest in mindfulness.  Started Wherever You Go, There You Are — which had been on my nightstand for oh, 2 years or so — this morning.

4) One might think that attempting to overhaul several areas of life at once is silly, but I think I actually do better with sweeping changes.  6/1 is the new 1/1!

On that note, while I am very happy with my Hobonichi Techo and have no plans to change planners until 2016, Erin Condren has unveiled the next Life Planner edition, and it’s very pretty:

video can be viewed here

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