Trying not to sing the on-call blues …

July 20, 2016

On call, aaaaaand . . .feeling a little blah.  There is just something about being ON for the patients and ON for the family and presumably still ON a little bit for me (ie, being responsible about health, little life details, etc) that is just soooooooo draining.  Without call, I feel like I can really just zoom into my work brain ~8:30 – 5* — but when all the sudden the edges bleed over — even theoretically** — well, I find it hard.  Very draining.  When I was a (childless) fellow, I would go home and lie on the couch and basically baby myself until the week was over.  Now?  I leave and shift into parenting mode the second I walk through the door.  And I’m never present on call evenings, as much as I hate to admit it.

Yesterday I self-soothed with double device time (including a horrifying amount of aimless scrolling) + crappy eating.  And it didn’t really work – just woke up feeling bad about my lame night. 
Tonight I am going to try to do better – attempt a barre3 workout (home) after the kids are in bed, and then either hang out with Josh (if home) or read or watch another episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend WITHOUT another device in my hand.  Wish me luck . . .

(List-making also might be a stress relief activity for me!)

* Yes, those are my hours unless I’m on call (call = 20% of the time).  Yes, I know many doctors work more.  In my defense I think I get a lot done in that time frame.

** Even if I don’t get called, I’m thinking about my inpatients and maybe even some of the imaginary calls I could get)

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