I am . . . spent.
Josh had another call weekend this weekend, and I was off. I have discussed before that I am super-happy that this is not our typical pattern anymore, and having 2 such weekends in the past 3 weeks (due to some schedule switching on his part) has solidified this fact. The truth: I was in a low mood for much of the weekend. The pictures below do not convey this, but there were some tears and strong emotions over this stretch on my part. Large and small contributing factors:
– not feeling so hot – the pregnancy + a mild cold that doesn’t want to leave me alone
– hurricane-related anxiety and angst about our environment (and feeling foolish for living where we live and building our lives in such a vulnerable place)
– kids NOT SLEEPING WELL. This is probably a large factor. This morning is the first one a kid hasn’t been up at 5 or earlier in days.
– me not sleeping well (pregnant, hot, weather-fueled anxiety, see above)
– not having regular workouts Wed – Friday
– not having any morning time to organize my thoughts/life
Thankfully, Josh was (mostly) off yesterday and I took some much-needed recovery time – 3 hrs in the morning while he hit the park & took them to lunch. I am feeling much better today, headed into the work week feeling reasonably organized and collected. It’s interesting – I can’t even identify what I find so hard about solo weekends. I think I struggle particularly with a feeling of isolation. If I don’t have enough social things planned (and it’s been tough the past couple of weekends, b/c I feel like our friends have been away with family) I often feel lonely, and sad, and frustrated. The list of above factors did not help this time.
Things we did:
– swim
me right now (26 1/2 weeks) before getting in the pool
– hit the science museum (driving through a major thunderstorm, agh). This museum is actually very open-air and NOT the best choice when there is a ton of lightning (which there was). I felt so alarmed for the staff checking people in, completely exposed while we were in the middle of the storm (they were dry but there was a completely open wall on one side – hard to explain but it did not seem safe). We hunkered down in a few closed exhibits so that worked out okay, but . . . next time it’s storming I’ll pick something else.
– lunch out w/ the kids at The Daily
– A’s friend came over for a playdate
– brunch at Josh’s parents house (this was great, I needed the adult contact!!)
– play date w/ Aunt D (I had invited her over Saturday afternoon)
– Cars 3 in the theater – not a terrible kids’ movie 🙂
On paper, it looks decent. It probably would have been, had I been a) feeling better and b) rested. Thankfully I don’t think I have a full solo weekend for quite some time — maybe until maternity leave! And eventually the weather has to improve. Right?
. . . after hurricane season, anyway.
We are predicted to get at least something (tropical storm conditions, +/- hurricane winds) from IRMA and I am afraid. I think the devastation of Harvey has made everyone even more frantic than usual, and I am certainly not an exception. The entire city of Miami Beach is an evacuation zone (due to storm surge vulnerability), so we are planning to head out if an order is issued. I booked a refundable hotel room (think Quality Inn, not Four Seasons, sadly . . .) midstate for us last night just in case (clearly everyone else on the coast was doing this too; all other rooms were disappearing rapidly on Expedia and the notifications said things like “73 other people booked this hotel tonight” which is definitely NOT normal for the places we were looking!).
Here’s to hoping we don’t have to actually go because all 4 of us in a dinky hotel with no kitchen for 3 days (there were no “family suites” type places available anywhere – Orlando, Ocala, Gainesville, etc – that were cancellable!) sounds . . . rather terrible. But I am trying to see it as an adventure. At least neither of us are on call! And if we need to we can always continue our northern trajectory and head to Atlanta or something. ADVENTURE. Yes.
New podcast:
I wanted to give the podcast episodes their own posts, and will try to do this in the future! But for today I’ll just mention – Episode #5 is out! We discuss the mental load of parenting. You can take a drink (of coffee, or your beverage of choice . . . ) every time I say “plan” or “planner”.
I anticipate that after episode #10 or so we will start to incorporate guests on some of our episides, so stay tuned for that!!
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Workout report last week
Pregnancy week 26
M – 30 min barre3 workout + 20 minute treadmill run/walk (1.66 mi / 20:22)
T – 40 min workout – my current fave intervals:
10 min @ 5 mph / 2 min walk
8 min @ 5.1 mph / 2 min walk
6 min @ 5.2 mph / 2 min walk
4 min @ 5.3 mph / 2 min walk
2 min @ 5.4 mph / 2 min walk
W – nada
R – nada, had late book club Weds night and was too exhausted
F – nada, had one-day conference in Orlando, spent 8 hrs in the car, again exhausted
S – 40 min run – 6 min @ 5 – 5.2 mph alternating w/ 2 min walks
S – 30 min barre3 which left me super sore
MOMENT report from phone (I sooo need this accountability)
M – 47 min
T – 2h 14 min
W – 3h 12 min (I have no idea)
T – 1h 27 min
F – 4h 19 min but does not count as I was using maps app in the car to Orlando for much of that
S – 20 min
S – 49 min
12 Comments
Really hoping that you are able to avoid a storm where you are!
Mostly wanted to comment re: the swim pic because you look great and LOVE the white. But also it might be nice if you would write some about/possibly review the books you’re reading (impressed that you are finding time to fit in a book club!). I’m always looking for recs and it would be nice to get more ideas/read your reviews. Thanks!
I also do badly with social isolation, which I think is one of the reasons I hated maternity leave so much. I hope the storm peters out and that you guys stay safe. It’s been quite a hurricane season already and it’s only just September. Looking forward to listening to the podcast.
Solo weekends are so, so hard, particularly while pregnant and/or caring for a newborn. My husband used to work every other weekend and he changed his job and we changed our lifestyle just so we didn’t have to do that anymore.
Prayers for you and your family!
Cheers to "plan" or "planner". I look forward to listening to podcast #5! Thinking of you and the weather!!
You totally need to make it into a trip to Atlanta!
I usually don’t mind solo parenting at all but since getting pregnant it’s a totally different story. I feel like I never know when my energy level will plummet so I feel nervous all the time. I’m sorry it was such a tough weekend for you. Glad you won’t have too many more before the baby arrives.
To be honest, when I was listening to your podcast about deciding to have another baby I was surprised you didn’t mention pregnancy at all. I may just be a wimp but I absolutely hate being pregnant and feel it adds a huge mental load in addition to the physical issues and that has definitely factored into my thoughts about how many kids I will have!
I’m sorry you had a rough weekend and I hope this week is a much nicer one. I’m not sure if this will make you smile, my intention, or just come off as creepy but I’m reading back on your archives when you were a resident, the level I’m at now, and it’s made a really rough time at work for me feel that much better. Thank you for always being so honest and blogging all these years.
Sarah, thinking of you in light of Irma.
Solo parenting long weekends is SO hard! I hope your week is much better. I’ve been listening to the podcast as a long-time reader of Laura’s blog (and Instagram follower of yours!), and I really loved your advice to the listener question this week, advising her to "spend out" on extra help during a short-term crunch. I’ve never considered thinking about it that way, and need to. Even things like extra childcare for the early years — like you talked about last week — could be considered spending out for the short term.
It’s so much more doable to think about spending out when I know it’s temporary (I’m an underbuyer, in Gretchen Rubin’s parlance). My husband is in the army, and still leaves frequently for months at a time, and I have always had a hard time letting myself get extra childcare because I know the kids miss their dad, and don’t want to leave them with another sitter, but I could easily spend the extra money to fly my parents here, or for us to do something special. They’re also now at an age where getting a babysitter is fun, so I’m going to make sure I remember this advice.
Hope the tail-end of this week goes well, and your weekend, too!
Praying for you and your friends and family. May you stay safe.
We all pray to god for all of you. May all of you stay safe.
Thinking of you and your family. Hope you’re safe!