First, some announcements:
1) WordPress conversion / blog makeover is underway! I am excited to have finally invested in this project. I don’t know exactly how long it will take, but I suspect that by December at the latest this site will look much prettier and have 2018 features instead of . . . 2010. Hooray!
2) I have . . . planner overload. I never thought I’d be in a position to say this, but I am quite outnumbered by my 2019 planners, most of them sent to review. Therefore, I will be spreading some of the planner love around with giveaways here + on instagram (insta / planning insta / BoBw).
Stay tuned for planner review #2 (of about 10 total, woah) on Friday!
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Oh Genevieve.
One might think that as the 3rd kid, you would get less attention. After all, the other two take up a lot of time and energy, right? Surely you are content to just do your own thing, and have learned that 3rd babies are supposed to sleep really well because OF COURSE it just becomes easy to ‘train’ your kids by the 3rd time around?
HAHAHA.
Nope. That said, my GOD this girl is a joy and a total hoot. Somehow, she seems to have her own spunky personality already. I will say that both her looks and attitude channel Annabel at times, which is really amazing to see. I guess genetics run deep . . .
Being #3. G is #3, but since there are almost 4 years between C & G, there’s a bit of an ‘only’ aspect of her, too (just with more seasoned parents). I don’t have any toddlers running around competing for attention; A&C are more independent than that most of the time.
Yesterday, C broke a glass bowl on the stairs (OH CAMERON) and Annabel ‘babysat’ G in her room while I cleaned it up. Glass-breaking aside, I was so thankful to have someone home that could actually help, even though she’s in 1st grade.
In many ways, I am the same mother I was with the other two. But I will say I sweat the details less. What she eats. How she naps. Even what she wears – although may fave thing to do is to put her in A’s old mini Boden hand me down dresses. It’s like deja vu.
rare helmet-free pic
Sleep. She is my first baby NOT to sleep through the night after 7 months or so. She is also my first baby not to be on at least a little bit of formula supplementation by that time. I do think the two are linked.
on my lap
She goes to bed at 7 and is up 1-2x/night still. She had a promising period in September when her first wakeup was happening as late as 5am, but has since gone back to true middle-of-the-night waking to eat. She nurses calmly and I place her back in bed with zero soothing or fanfare, and she is always quiet afterwards. The whole shebang takes max 15 min. It honestly doesn’t bother me much unless we’ve been out late (esp if I dared to drink more than one glass of wine) or when it’s SUPER early in my sleep cycle (like 10:30 pm).
Last night she oddly ate at 9 pm + 3:30 am. Her usual wakeup is around 6:30.
She generally naps for one ‘real’ nap and one quick car nap or on my lap (when I’m home). Her ‘real’ nap is often 10-12 or (yesterday) 11-1. If she naps past 3-4 pm, bedtime is impossible, so I don’t usually try.
I recognize that sleep training is an option, but I haven’t wanted to mess with the equilibrium that is nursing supply/demand. So, here we are.
Eating. On that note – aren’t you proud of me that I’ve gone at least 10 posts without mentioning pumping? (That could be wrong, but I feel like I have not dwelled on it as much). It has continued, and I am still a crappy pumper, but somehow I still have milk in the freezer (though not a ton, and I am fine with some formula if needed when this runs out before she’s ready for cow’s milk). I am less than 2 months away from my Dec 1 goal and VERY excited about stopping.
When I’m home, she typically nurses ~6:30, 9:30, 12-1, 3, sometimes 5, 7, then 1-2x overnight.
When I work, she nurses ~6:30, often top-off at 7:30, 7 pm, then 1-2x/night with 2 bottles during the day (9-10 oz total in bottles).
She drinks water in her Zoli cup and LOTS of different foods (everything from sweet potatoes and salmon to pizza!). She seems to be thriving!
Development: She is on track with the others, or perhaps a tiny bit ahead on her motor milestones compared w/ A/C. They are all similar, though. Both A&C walked right at 12 months, and I think G will be there too (maybe a little earlier, but we’ll see). She’s cruising everywhere and will let go for a second or two before falling on her (nicely padded) butt. I do think her helmet has made her a little bit extra bold (it’s protection!) and I fear what will happen when it’s off!!
She waves bye bye, blows kisses, and says the following words:
this
that
nana (banana)
bye bye
dada (maybe)
mama (sort of, really just repeats it)
I can’t wait to hear more of her words!!
Helmet: We are more than halfway through the helmet journey and it appears her head is rounding out at least somewhat. She went from 11 mm of asymmetry to 8.6 mm at last check (goal is less than 6 mm). We’ll never know if it would have happened by itself, but she asymmetrical enough we didn’t want to take the gamble.
She actually doesn’t mind it one bit and we are very used to it.
Siblings: Annabel has been quite good with G from the early phases. Cameron appears to be coming around. He still tends to push the limits of what is appropriate horseplay, but he seems less resentful about it and more just . . . experimental.
It didn’t occur to me until several months in, but I realize that he was much more aware of losing his BABY status, and was hurt that G took that away from him. As he’s getting more mature and delighting in being lumped with the ‘big kids’ (ie with Annabel) now, things are getting better.
I still can’t really leave C&G in a room together, but A can actually watch her for a few minutes (ie, while I shower or talk on the phone) which can be really really helpful! I have even compensated her with a dollar on occasion . . .
ME: Well, all things considered, I’m doing pretty well. I definitely have days of despair where I feel like all I do/will ever do is pick up kid messes and play bodyguard to G. I don’t really love weekends alone at home with all 3. But on evenings when bedtime goes well, I do kind of feel like (sort of) supermom, and it’s a nice feeling.
I am much less bothered by the night wakings than the pumping. I CANNOT WAIT to be done with the pumping, and the feeling that my milk must be constantly available. I am yearning to do something indulgent like just go get a massage during the day with no thought to timing, or to (gasp!) take a couples weekend with Josh. I do enjoy nursing still so I am not going to try to fully wean (ie, I’ll feed her AM / PM) right away, but I will say I’m starting to look forward to moving on to the next phase.
I will say I’m somewhat less judgmental about my pump ‘outcomes’. If I don’t make as much on a given day, I’m like, “well, I tried” rather than “I AM A HORRIBLE FAILURE OF A PERSON”. Last night, G woke up at 9 so I couldn’t pump and rather than despair I was rather happy that I didn’t feel obligated to hook myself up to the blasted machine yet another time.
I recognize I could just stop but with 7.5 weeks to go until 12/1 I’ll probably just stay with my routine until then. Perhaps I’ll go to 2 pumps during the work day in November (rather than 3). We will see . . . if you pumped, did you ramp down gradually, or just stop?
Physically, I am working out with varying consistency (3-6x/week!), doing a combo of Beachbody 21-day fix workouts + running. I still am not very fast, but I don’t think I’ve been doing enough mileage to get fast — 10 mi/week max isn’t going to cut it! I am looking forward to ramping this up in a couple of months, and am considering a March half marathon. I am still ~3 lb above my personal ‘most comfortable’ weight, but in a decently acceptable place. I have no delusions that this is going to change until I’m done with nursing.
I will say I am in need of a wardrobe overhaul. I have been wearing the same @(*&@# for months now, and I hate it all. On the upside, this has led to an unprecedented surplus in my ‘allowance’ savings! Yay! However, I don’t really want to go shopping until I’ve weaned because, as above, I still feel like my body is in a weird in between place (and let’s face it, my chest WILL deflate even if nothing else changes). That said, I think I have to do something because it’s getting ridiculous – I literally wear the same 2 shirts every weekend and have nothing particularly nice to wear out. MVP of postpartum wardrobe has been these jeans – I still wear them all the time!
I am also really yearning to ramp up work a little bit more. The pump has been such a distraction and I have all of these ideas (both clinical + residency/teaching related!) but not enough time to execute. I’ve chosen to just survive for most of 2018, and I’m comfortable with that decision but ready to move on. I suspect that 2019 is going to be a productive and exciting work year, and I am looking forward to it!
So – there you have it! I’m happy to answer questions related to G / post-partum adjustment/etc. I thought about doing a ‘where we are’ post with C & A too, who are 4.5 (almost 4.75) and 6.5 respectively.
Whew! That was a lot. Back Friday with a planner review.
PS: Yes, I’ve been following politics and have plenty to say about everything if you run into me IRL, but I prefer to write about happier things like planners and babies. HOWEVER – PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU ARE REGISTERED TO VOTE!!
PPS: Thinking of panhandle/northern Floridians as Hurricane Michael approaches – sending safe and hopeful vibes that this storm isn’t too bad and blows over quickly!
21 Comments
I love your kid-related updates! I am considering having kids right now, and I’m trying to decide how many I want (yes, I recognize that that preference could change after I have my first child–but it’s still a fun thing to think/daydream about). Reading your honest thoughts about the challenges (and joys) of kids, particularly of having 3, is really interesting to me–it gives me some insights into what I can expect when I do have kids. Hope to see A&C related updates soon! 🙂
I ramped down pumping at work. It was amazing how much time it seemed like I had when I was "only" pumping once a day! I think the whole ramp down was quick though – maybe 2 weeks or less?
When my youngest turned one, I threw out all of my work clothes and started over. It was awesome. My closet was full of #1 pre-pregnancy stuff that was outdated or #2 transitional size clothes that I didn’t want to spend much money on. It felt soooo good to start fresh!! Also around that time I gave away all of my bottles and pumping paraphernalia. I hate pumping with a passion.
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YESSSS!
PS I just took a look at your site – I love it!!
Fun update! My second daughter is a month younger than G, so I always enjoy the look ahead/preview of what”s to come! With my first daughter, I ramped the pumping down gradually, but only over the course of a week – went from 4 sessions to 3 to 2 to 1 to 0 – hooray! I started by dropping the sessions where I was getting the least amount of milk and continued with that until they were all dropped.
Man it’s just fun anticipating how freeing that will be!! Thanks Nikki!
My first had the helmet and learned to use it as a wrecking ball. We were a bit worried when it came off but he learned pretty fast that hitting your head hurts.
My first 2 kids are 4 years apart and my oldest had a difficulty time transitioning from only child to having a baby around. Things improved eventually. When we added #3, we made a point to try to have more 1:1 time with #2 (starbucks dates etc) which she has responded to but she’s also only 2 years older than the baby and just a different kid with a different temperament.
I started doing supervised baby care when I was in the first grade. By late elementary school I was rather good at caring for infants. This lead to some decent babysitting gigs when I was a teen!
Re: shopping, I found some blogs/insta pages that I like following and sometimes buy what they recommend to try. I also follow some boutiques local to me and some not that I like their styles and you can buy from their feed. I also think knowing what you need is helpful (work appropriate/weekend casual/tops with jeans for nights/etc) so you are focused on what to look for. Then I’ll fill in with a real store when I find time. I know it doesn’t help you stay off your phone!
I am going to need a full on overhaul, honestly, but I’m going to wait a few months to really go for it. Great idea about boutiques on insta. I esp like the idea of buying local and having a place that is ‘mine’ that is not just a chain store!
Yes all this. (As usual. My baby is 8 months and I am right there with you.). I actually stopped pumping about a month ago. I”m academic EM and just couldn”t do it anymore. I only had about 7 shifts worth of a freezer stash, and she doesn”t love the formula she gets now when I”m gone, but she tolerates it and I know she won”t starve. And we”re hanging on breastfeeding when I”m at home, surprisingly. It helps that this one is a patient nurser (loves it, way more than my first) and can actually help bring my lagging supply up. But I had to do it for my sanity.
I”m also SOOOO tired of the wardrobe. I think living in Florida is the worst, actually, because anything layered over a nursing tank is just hot, and its hard to find decent non-cami tanks out of season but there is no place for long sleeves here. I”m about to try a stitch fix knowing those clothes will be too big I”m a few months because I”m just so tired of my clothes.
And work. Surely this feeling of drowning and no-amount-of-planning-can-get-me-through-this will end soon right? The burn-the-candle-at-both-ends job is just.so.hard right now. And the transition to 2 has been harder than I thought. Especially for my husband, who has always done the evening/weekend childcare when I”m working, but is overwhelmed with 2, stretching our childcare and making it harder to protect my academic time. Ugh.
So right there with you. And thanks for the space to share my, well not quite misery but something halfway there. Hang in there.
My goal was to pump till 12 months with my second (my first as well but that was a little different because I was already pregnant again so my supply totally tanked regardless of how much I pumped like a maniac). I dropped from 3x/day at work to 2x at about 10 months and then to 1x/day at 11 months, then quit altogether at 12m (I had a small stash so I was able to do that). It didn”t hugely affect my supply though because I kept nursing easily all day on the weekends, not just morning/night as I expected. She just continued to ask for it all the time!! Eventually I started noticing a gradual and significant drop in supply but it was a good while later.
G makes the helmet look adorable!
Seventy one year old grandma here. My three grand babies have all been breastfed until age two.
That made for interesting (and somewhat difficult ) babysitting for Grammy and Grandad. All three refused a bottle with breast milk.
I was understanding of this as our 37 year old daughter was exclusively breastfed, and also refused a bottle. She went from breast to a sippy cup of milk at one year.
I can only hope that youngish people are registered to vote, and will vote their conscience, and not according to party lines.
Really like these honest updates that totally reflect the ups and downs of motherhood. My daughter is a month older than G. (who is soooo cute! Gosh!) and my son is 3.5 so I fully agree with your “I feel like all I do/will ever do is pick up kid messes and play bodyguard”! That”s the hardest for me right now… especially the evening routine which is just the same thing all over again. So thanks for your posts which help putting this into perspective. We”re all on the same boat!
Choice #1 ramp down slowly and enjoy evening nursing as something you get to rather than as something you have to do.
Choice #2 stop cold turkey and take some Benadryl if you”re worried about engorgement.
🤷🏼♀️
With my third baby I was exhausted! I just didn”t have the energy to pump so she drank formula when I was at work and I nursed her when I was home and she was fine. I usually let my babies nurse until they”re ready to stop and then boom I was pregnant again with a 9 month old baby. Long story short my milk dried up and I was forced to wean her. It was terrible and sad but we all survived. So don”t beat yourself up if you can”t pump. She”ll be fine either way. Good luck!
Hi Sarah! It”s Jessica (long time ago food blogger friend) from Durham. I just discovered your podcast and am enjoying it. I just wanted to say, “Hi!” Congratulations on your 3 beautiful children. I have a 7 year old daughter. Best!
Jessica I was literally just thinking of you!!! How are things going? We still miss Durham!!!!
She is super cute… it seems like every baby I know of is in a helmet these days.
Our daughter went through 3 head scans and was borderline for a helmet. Considering I have a slight flat spot on the back of my head, today’s kids will have better shaped heads!
It’s really fun to read these, as my youngest is just one month older than G (and my oldest is a couple months older than C). My son is a MUCH better nurser than my older daughter was, is on far less formula as a result, and has yet to sleep through the night at 11 months…so yeah, I totally believe you that they are linked. On the upside, I’m in the process of scaling down pumping to just once a day with the goal of stopping on his first birthday…17 days to go!
You also made me realize that my son says no words except mama or dada but he might know more than he lets on, as he’s massively attached to his pacifier so that probably has a lot to do with it. Hmm, I may need to try scaling that back during the daytime!
This is totally normal – I think Sarah has super verbal babies 🙂 (perhaps not surprisingly given the blog) – just look for three words by 15 months